by jonas » Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:06 am
Hey man, i am new to this whole things as well. My marriage is hanging by a thread, and i am staying with my parents for the weekend to dry out. Just this friday, after 3 weeks of sobriety (my wife and i had made a deal that i wouldnt drink anymore) i stayed home from work, and bought a pint of whiskey. My plan was to sober up before she came, and all would be fine. I would get my fix, and no one would be the wiser. Unfortunately, she came home and i was completely trashed. I ended up crying on the floor and screaming that i was sorry (from what i can actually remember). I also have depression and ocd disorders. ive been selfr medicating for the past 16 yearswith alchohol and pornography.
Like i said, i am new to this. I have known that ive had a problem with alchohol for years. But i am only now REALLY trying to do something about it. I have found an AA meeting that is held on fridays. Fridays seem to be my worst day, seeing as i can go for a week without drinking, but on a friday, when i dont have work the next day, those are my toughest days. Those are the days that i will scheme to get my fix. I need to get my sobriety for myself first and foremost, and then for my family. I am scared for the future, but i can only hope that things will get better and i can get myself out of this rut.
I dont know if this post is helpful to you or not, but myself being a logical thinker as well, i feel that i can relate to your story. I have a very scientific mind (or so i like to think), and have a very hard time turning to anyone for help. But i now realize that i cant do it on my own, and that is perhaps one of the most difficult things i have had to admit to myself and others.
Be well, and chin up
Hey man, i am new to this whole things as well. My marriage is hanging by a thread, and i am staying with my parents for the weekend to dry out. Just this friday, after 3 weeks of sobriety (my wife and i had made a deal that i wouldnt drink anymore) i stayed home from work, and bought a pint of whiskey. My plan was to sober up before she came, and all would be fine. I would get my fix, and no one would be the wiser. Unfortunately, she came home and i was completely trashed. I ended up crying on the floor and screaming that i was sorry (from what i can actually remember). I also have depression and ocd disorders. ive been selfr medicating for the past 16 yearswith alchohol and pornography.
Like i said, i am new to this. I have known that ive had a problem with alchohol for years. But i am only now REALLY trying to do something about it. I have found an AA meeting that is held on fridays. Fridays seem to be my worst day, seeing as i can go for a week without drinking, but on a friday, when i dont have work the next day, those are my toughest days. Those are the days that i will scheme to get my fix. I need to get my sobriety for myself first and foremost, and then for my family. I am scared for the future, but i can only hope that things will get better and i can get myself out of this rut.
I dont know if this post is helpful to you or not, but myself being a logical thinker as well, i feel that i can relate to your story. I have a very scientific mind (or so i like to think), and have a very hard time turning to anyone for help. But i now realize that i cant do it on my own, and that is perhaps one of the most difficult things i have had to admit to myself and others.
Be well, and chin up