by Emily » Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:40 pm
I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. We're both young, 20. During high school he was addicted to pain killers. He has had a long history of drug abuse, as well as in his family. During our relationship he would on and off use heroin. When i say i mean on and off I mean he would use for a few days, then stop for months at a time; as in 8 months about. Then he would use again. We broke up about six months ago for a period of two months. DUring that time his addiction spiraled out of control, the worst it had ever been. I guess getting back together with him i did not realize the severity of his addiction. He had told me he stopped, and he was looking much better. During the last four months he has been depressed, tired, and sometimes sick, but he has always seemed depressed. I have depression so im tired most of the time so i just figured that was why. I also had mono, so i figured maybe he got it from me. I have never done heroin, I have never had anaddiction to drugs or anything for that matter. He finally confessed to me two days ago that hes been using. Just enough to keep him from withdraw. I had no idea. I feel so stupid. He seems so ready to be clean now, but i am no fool. He agreed to go to detox last night, but it was too expensive. He is buying soboxon off of someone he knows and is/has been going through withdraw by himself. I stayed with him yesterday and I had a very hard time watching him go through it. I am afraid he will get addicted to those soboxons. Or he will relapse. I just dont understand why i wont leave him. Im completely in love with him and the last four months were the happiest months weve ever had together. Even though he was lying to me the whole time. It wasnt real. So why cant i let go? What am i supposed to do? He cant go to rehab because hes tried that so many times, he doesnt have anyone to help him pay for it, hes usedall of his savings. I am completely at a loss.
I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. We're both young, 20. During high school he was addicted to pain killers. He has had a long history of drug abuse, as well as in his family. During our relationship he would on and off use heroin. When i say i mean on and off I mean he would use for a few days, then stop for months at a time; as in 8 months about. Then he would use again. We broke up about six months ago for a period of two months. DUring that time his addiction spiraled out of control, the worst it had ever been. I guess getting back together with him i did not realize the severity of his addiction. He had told me he stopped, and he was looking much better. During the last four months he has been depressed, tired, and sometimes sick, but he has always seemed depressed. I have depression so im tired most of the time so i just figured that was why. I also had mono, so i figured maybe he got it from me. I have never done heroin, I have never had anaddiction to drugs or anything for that matter. He finally confessed to me two days ago that hes been using. Just enough to keep him from withdraw. I had no idea. I feel so stupid. He seems so ready to be clean now, but i am no fool. He agreed to go to detox last night, but it was too expensive. He is buying soboxon off of someone he knows and is/has been going through withdraw by himself. I stayed with him yesterday and I had a very hard time watching him go through it. I am afraid he will get addicted to those soboxons. Or he will relapse. I just dont understand why i wont leave him. Im completely in love with him and the last four months were the happiest months weve ever had together. Even though he was lying to me the whole time. It wasnt real. So why cant i let go? What am i supposed to do? He cant go to rehab because hes tried that so many times, he doesnt have anyone to help him pay for it, hes usedall of his savings. I am completely at a loss.