Really have trouble with meetings.

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Re: Really have trouble with meetings.

Post by MaggieS1016 » Tue May 13, 2014 10:16 pm

I have trouble with meetings too. I am a year & 1/2 sober. At first I went to 3-4 meetings a week, then it went to 2. Once I had 6 months, I stopped going at all.I never really had a sponsor..well, I had one but I just couldn't open up. I am cool with not drinking, I have my moments but they pass. Now I am getting pressured by someone close to me that wants me to do the steps or end our relationship. (he is a former 12 stepper & is begging for me to "make amends") :? . Not sure what I am gonna do. If I want to keep this person in my life, I have to go back to meetings, get a sponsor & do the steps. Well I don't want to, but WHY NOT? I don't understand.... :?

Re: Really have trouble with meetings.

Post by elle » Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:22 pm

Remember, you dont have to say anything. You can sit and listen. Stick with the people you can identify with, and don't let anyone pressure you. Meetings help you get and stay sober. That's the main focus. The rest is a distraction. Good luck.

Re: Really have trouble with meetings.

Post by avere fiducia215 » Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:20 am

I'm headed to my first ever A.A. Meeting tomorrow evening ... I am scared beyond belief. My boyfriend said he will join me to help me with that little last push into the room... I'm anxious that I will not get along wtih anyone . although I am there for me and no one else ... I know this is a change I need to make in my life so I am motivated just nervous ...

Re: Really have trouble with meetings.

Post by yosemite610 » Sat Nov 26, 2011 5:01 pm

It's really not about 'them', you know. I mean: I fall into the same thing, especially if stressed, where other people annoy me more then usual... And it's true that what disturbs me about other's behavior in AA is often what I don't want to admit about myself, behaviors I have been 'guilty' of...

Bottom line is, I am powerless over others. And if I am disturbed by someone else's behavior, then something is wrong with me (after all, I am disturbed). The 'something' wrong with me is usually that I am unwilling to accept that people either aren't doing it the way I think they should, or growing slower then I think they should. Either way, I need to adjust my expectations...

Alcoholics, by definition, have some serious problems with honesty. And I don't just mean cash-register honesty, but honesty about their feelings, fears, and being able to see how 'the dots connect' (behaviors/honesty/fear/4th-step). I tend to let them have their 3 to 5 minutes, knowing (hoping?) that layers will peel away at different times of their life and they get more in touch with honesty.

I still think any active alcoholic is, generally, constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves, I was... And it's only by getting a sponsor who had worked the steps, and sitting down with him and doing the steps that I was able to really chisel away at that...

That being said, I've found some meetings with good people/sobriety in them and go regularly (religiously - heh!), and the ones that don't have much honesty, I don't :!:

Really have trouble with meetings.

Post by butterfly01pa » Fri Nov 25, 2011 11:38 pm

I was sober for almost 3 yrs, and fell off wagon. Husband was very ill, and almost died. I tried meetings before. I read the book over and over and practiced everything, and went to church. I watched my sister, who is a perc addict from surgeries, go to meetings and profess to be sober, then watched others do the same thing, and I knew they weren't. I became very disheartened, because I thought it was a joke. I watched so many people use it for dating and a social arena, that I found no use in it. I wish I could find a meeting where there were people who were truly honest, and not just going because they were court ordered, or mandated by social security. I just pulled out my big book, and am reading again.