by avere fiducia215 » Sat Nov 26, 2011 1:31 pm
I'm giving this a shot for the first time in my life. I am 26 and I still drink as if I am at a college party. I drink one beer or glass of wine and then it turns into a full case or 3 bottles. I cannot stop when I start - which is what leads me to the need of sobriety. I have attempted before to control my drinking, however it only lasts a day or so. I was unemployed for 3 months and begin my new job on monday - I was using boredom and depression as an excuse for drinking. I have wasted money, ruined relationships, and forgot who I really am. I am an alcoholic. Last night at my boyfriends parents house I drank WAY too much wine. blacked out, so I really don't have a clue as to what happened. He told me this morning that I beat him and bit him (he has a black/blue eye and a large scab on his ear) while he was driving me home. I am very fortunate that he was still here when I awoke this morning. He called my parents and told them what happened - they are so upset with me. His family thinks I'm insane and he needs not to be with me - I am beyond the point of embarressment. There is no excuse or reason as to why this demon comes out when I drink - it's simply that I need to stop drinking and I cannot control my use. I have a horrible past and I need therapy as well ... I am so scared to go to meetings, I dont even know where to begin and I am shy with strangers, so I am reaching out to all of you for some advice, encouragement, and help...
I'm giving this a shot for the first time in my life. I am 26 and I still drink as if I am at a college party. I drink one beer or glass of wine and then it turns into a full case or 3 bottles. I cannot stop when I start - which is what leads me to the need of sobriety. I have attempted before to control my drinking, however it only lasts a day or so. I was unemployed for 3 months and begin my new job on monday - I was using boredom and depression as an excuse for drinking. I have wasted money, ruined relationships, and forgot who I really am. I am an alcoholic. Last night at my boyfriends parents house I drank WAY too much wine. blacked out, so I really don't have a clue as to what happened. He told me this morning that I beat him and bit him (he has a black/blue eye and a large scab on his ear) while he was driving me home. I am very fortunate that he was still here when I awoke this morning. He called my parents and told them what happened - they are so upset with me. His family thinks I'm insane and he needs not to be with me - I am beyond the point of embarressment. There is no excuse or reason as to why this demon comes out when I drink - it's simply that I need to stop drinking and I cannot control my use. I have a horrible past and I need therapy as well ... I am so scared to go to meetings, I dont even know where to begin and I am shy with strangers, so I am reaching out to all of you for some advice, encouragement, and help...