by Trying alone » Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:52 am
I have been sober since 11/26/2008, the day after Thanksgiving. I did this on my own without AA, or any kind of outside help structure. I have attended a couple of AA meetings in the past while I was drinking but none since I quit.
My immediate family knows of my sobriety, but all live elsewhere in the country.
I am going through some very difficult times over the last couple of weeks, and find myself edging closer to relapse.
The day I quit drinking, I placed the half empty bottle of vodka in the cupboard over the stove. I periodically open that cupboard and say to myself, You don't need that stuff anymore, but it is more difficult these last couple of weeks to close that door.
It is interesting as I find myself in quite a conundrum, while I want outside support, I am in a high profile job that I fear would suffer with any kind of public "honor bound privacy" environment. I have been recognized outside of my work environment in the past and this fact fuels my deepest fears for seeking fellowship and support.
I occasionally wonder if I am truely any better off not drinking, as I did that alone as well....I suppose the fact that I'm not spending the money on booze that I used to spend should be of some comfort, and at least i don't sit with the blinds pulled all of the time now.
Thanks for the forum, and letting me write this, it has been somewhat cathartic.
I have been sober since 11/26/2008, the day after Thanksgiving. I did this on my own without AA, or any kind of outside help structure. I have attended a couple of AA meetings in the past while I was drinking but none since I quit.
My immediate family knows of my sobriety, but all live elsewhere in the country.
I am going through some very difficult times over the last couple of weeks, and find myself edging closer to relapse.
The day I quit drinking, I placed the half empty bottle of vodka in the cupboard over the stove. I periodically open that cupboard and say to myself, You don't need that stuff anymore, but it is more difficult these last couple of weeks to close that door.
It is interesting as I find myself in quite a conundrum, while I want outside support, I am in a high profile job that I fear would suffer with any kind of public "honor bound privacy" environment. I have been recognized outside of my work environment in the past and this fact fuels my deepest fears for seeking fellowship and support.
I occasionally wonder if I am truely any better off not drinking, as I did that alone as well....I suppose the fact that I'm not spending the money on booze that I used to spend should be of some comfort, and at least i don't sit with the blinds pulled all of the time now.
Thanks for the forum, and letting me write this, it has been somewhat cathartic.