by spandicandi » Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:51 am
My husband has been snorting cocaine for the past 11 years. We started dating and he got sober for over a year, and then soon after the baby was born, he started again, and hasn't stopped. Today, we went to look at a home we were planning on buying, and we decided to get it. We were both sooo happy we finally found something that we wanted. Right after that, we were in separate cars so we were supposed to meet at home. He never came...... I cried, and was about to just lose it because even on what should be a joyous day - a good day - in the end, it's all about coke.
My son is 13 months now, and he sees the twitching when he comes down. My husband never does it at home, he just takes off all night and comes home the next morning when his high has worn off. Thing is, I'm a stay at home mom, and I don't even have a high school diploma to get a good job to be able to support me and my son if we leave. I want only the best life for my son and I've tried everything with him. Inpatient - outpatient- yelling to talking to not even saying a word. I don't know how to deal anymore. I'm only 21 and i'm so unhappy. He is the best father and husband when he is there, but cocaine will always be it for him. I know that. I don't question anymore if he'll actually sober up at some point because I don't believe he will. I don't believe he can just be happy with my son and I. I really do wish this was a live chat cause I could really use it right now. My family and I aren't close so I really dont have a support system to fall back on. I wanted sooooo much better for my son, and for me. I just need help and I don't know how to find it.... I cry most of the time, and then I get so angry. I don't know what to do. If I leave, how can I make it? Finacially, I could never do it. Emotionally....my husband would be gone, I would fall apart. I had an issue with meth for a while, I put myself in rehab at 14 years old. I stayed in rehab for almost a year, and I haven't touched it since. To me, if you're that determined to love your life and your family, why wouldn't you do everything to stop? I did. Even though things get hard in my current situation, I would never go back to it. My son needs me. What should I do I'm sooo confused and I love him, but the bad has outweighed the good for along time now.
My husband has been snorting cocaine for the past 11 years. We started dating and he got sober for over a year, and then soon after the baby was born, he started again, and hasn't stopped. Today, we went to look at a home we were planning on buying, and we decided to get it. We were both sooo happy we finally found something that we wanted. Right after that, we were in separate cars so we were supposed to meet at home. He never came...... I cried, and was about to just lose it because even on what should be a joyous day - a good day - in the end, it's all about coke.
My son is 13 months now, and he sees the twitching when he comes down. My husband never does it at home, he just takes off all night and comes home the next morning when his high has worn off. Thing is, I'm a stay at home mom, and I don't even have a high school diploma to get a good job to be able to support me and my son if we leave. I want only the best life for my son and I've tried everything with him. Inpatient - outpatient- yelling to talking to not even saying a word. I don't know how to deal anymore. I'm only 21 and i'm so unhappy. He is the best father and husband when he is there, but cocaine will always be it for him. I know that. I don't question anymore if he'll actually sober up at some point because I don't believe he will. I don't believe he can just be happy with my son and I. I really do wish this was a live chat cause I could really use it right now. My family and I aren't close so I really dont have a support system to fall back on. I wanted sooooo much better for my son, and for me. I just need help and I don't know how to find it.... I cry most of the time, and then I get so angry. I don't know what to do. If I leave, how can I make it? Finacially, I could never do it. Emotionally....my husband would be gone, I would fall apart. I had an issue with meth for a while, I put myself in rehab at 14 years old. I stayed in rehab for almost a year, and I haven't touched it since. To me, if you're that determined to love your life and your family, why wouldn't you do everything to stop? I did. Even though things get hard in my current situation, I would never go back to it. My son needs me. What should I do I'm sooo confused and I love him, but the bad has outweighed the good for along time now.