by saucy » Sat Nov 09, 2013 12:19 am
day 21
Technically it is the start of day 22 but since i have not gone to sleep yet it still is day 21!!!! I despertly wish it was saturday at 3 so i would be done work, (ha ha) i just really am not in the mood to work this week!!!!! Today after work i did miss taking a couple of swigs out of the old grand dad bottle ans chasing it with a beer ! I however did not miss trying to cover up the smell , hide any evidence of empties or whatever it is im hiding, lying about drinking or how much ive ' really' had,or the fight i have with myself of having another and actually beleiving it will be the last one when i know damn well when i start its never the last one...... at least 9 1/2 times out of 10 thats the it goes!! Sadly, it remains a consuming part of my life and yes i do miss the drink and that really annoys me for now! I am working on accepting that I may possibly think about alcohol for the rest of my life, ive thought about it all this time, I guess the difference is is that i thought about it and drank about it....
day 21
Technically it is the start of day 22 but since i have not gone to sleep yet it still is day 21!!!! I despertly wish it was saturday at 3 so i would be done work, (ha ha) i just really am not in the mood to work this week!!!!! Today after work i did miss taking a couple of swigs out of the old grand dad bottle ans chasing it with a beer ! I however did not miss trying to cover up the smell , hide any evidence of empties or whatever it is im hiding, lying about drinking or how much ive ' really' had,or the fight i have with myself of having another and actually beleiving it will be the last one when i know damn well when i start its never the last one...... at least 9 1/2 times out of 10 thats the it goes!! Sadly, it remains a consuming part of my life and yes i do miss the drink and that really annoys me for now! I am working on accepting that I may possibly think about alcohol for the rest of my life, ive thought about it all this time, I guess the difference is is that i thought about it and drank about it....