by banana » Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:50 pm
You know, when I first got sober 11 years ago, I was 19 and had an incredibly difficult time meeting people and dealing with the pain of losing my old friends and old places...when I met Greg, I had 6 months clean and he had 9 months. We dated for three years. As I look back on it, the relationship with him and the joy of being in love sober was a huge help to me during some of the dark times of my recovery and also helped me to let go of my using friends. I do believe he was put in my life for a reason. He still holds a special place in my heart although we do not talk now and I am marrying the love of my life in a couple of months.
However, what I did learn is that when we broke up, I was stunted in my recovery at about 6 months. While I was so concerned with being with him and all of the wonderful feelings, I did not focus on growing in the program and getting healthy. The break up was devastating since I did not have the tools to handle it.
You are going to do what you believe is best, but I would caution you to not make the same mistake that I did. Take care of your growth and your sober friends, work the steps and be willing to sacrifice the relationship if you need to focus on you.
You know, when I first got sober 11 years ago, I was 19 and had an incredibly difficult time meeting people and dealing with the pain of losing my old friends and old places...when I met Greg, I had 6 months clean and he had 9 months. We dated for three years. As I look back on it, the relationship with him and the joy of being in love sober was a huge help to me during some of the dark times of my recovery and also helped me to let go of my using friends. I do believe he was put in my life for a reason. He still holds a special place in my heart although we do not talk now and I am marrying the love of my life in a couple of months.
However, what I did learn is that when we broke up, I was stunted in my recovery at about 6 months. While I was so concerned with being with him and all of the wonderful feelings, I did not focus on growing in the program and getting healthy. The break up was devastating since I did not have the tools to handle it.
You are going to do what you believe is best, but I would caution you to not make the same mistake that I did. Take care of your growth and your sober friends, work the steps and be willing to sacrifice the relationship if you need to focus on you.