by abclimo » Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:50 am
Maris: You sure are in a difficult spot. He definitely has a problem and needs to quit drinking. He's looking to blame everyone else or everything else for his problems, when he's the one to blame. I also see the pattern of excuses, addicts are awesome at making excuses for everything. I agree, who wants to be with someone who is drunk when they are intimate, he probably won't remember how good/bad it was anyway. Until he's ready to admit that he has a problem, he won't take meetings seriously or won't take seriously getting help, either in the form of outpatient or inpatient rehab. At this point you are enabling him and that is bad. Most people who have the disease of addiction (alcohol/drug) use to cover up feelings or to make life easier to deal with. Using helps to deal with things you don't want to have to deal with, but when you sober up the problems are still there and are actually worse than they were. Good for you wanting your life back, you need to take your life back. You deserve to live a life of happiness, not such upheaval. You could try an ultimatum of either getting sober, or he's out the door. Definitely wouldn't buy him any more cars, they are vehicles of destruction in his hands and he's lucky he hasn't killed or seriously injured anyone yet. I know you will find the right path to travel to regain your life, it may definitely have bumps in it, but keep going, it will get better. You also need to take care of you, you are very important.
Maris: You sure are in a difficult spot. He definitely has a problem and needs to quit drinking. He's looking to blame everyone else or everything else for his problems, when he's the one to blame. I also see the pattern of excuses, addicts are awesome at making excuses for everything. I agree, who wants to be with someone who is drunk when they are intimate, he probably won't remember how good/bad it was anyway. Until he's ready to admit that he has a problem, he won't take meetings seriously or won't take seriously getting help, either in the form of outpatient or inpatient rehab. At this point you are enabling him and that is bad. Most people who have the disease of addiction (alcohol/drug) use to cover up feelings or to make life easier to deal with. Using helps to deal with things you don't want to have to deal with, but when you sober up the problems are still there and are actually worse than they were. Good for you wanting your life back, you need to take your life back. You deserve to live a life of happiness, not such upheaval. You could try an ultimatum of either getting sober, or he's out the door. Definitely wouldn't buy him any more cars, they are vehicles of destruction in his hands and he's lucky he hasn't killed or seriously injured anyone yet. I know you will find the right path to travel to regain your life, it may definitely have bumps in it, but keep going, it will get better. You also need to take care of you, you are very important.