by Ellie123 » Mon Dec 08, 2014 8:34 am
Update: Nothing changed. When I ask (plead!) that no alcohol - not even beer - is in the house, he says, "I'm a MAN and I WANT beer in the fridge. Period!"
This man is the love of my life. But he refuses to accept that I have a problem that I've been honest about from before we even got together. I can only see one way out. But I am without any means of income. I have tried to show him what happens when I'm trashed, but the sex is so good (for him I don't remember anything) he wont accept that I will not 'get better'. He feels cheated I think (what he considers to be great sex is no longer available). And I feel cheated out of a life. I'm' not living a life. I'm living a slow death of both my marriage and myself.
We had a big fight a couple of years ago - largely due to my frustration at his lack of understanding - at the end of a night out where he bought me wine after wine after wine. I knew, even in my inebriated state, that I was uncomfortable with the situation growing around me - at which point another full glass appears in front of me. The next day, waking up in a trashed house from the row the night before - he STILL wont admit I have a problem!
The trouble is, that because I don't look like i belong in the gutter he, like his friends, thinks this is some silly notion. He wont believe anything until he sees it for himself. I refuse to put myself in the gutter to prove a point - by then it will be too late for all of us anyway. I have gone as far as I dare go in showing him what happens. I am angry that any disappointment he feels about this is entirely his own fault for not listening. I was two years booze free before this. Needless to say I am gutted to find myself at this juncture.
I am here because I am asking for some perspective from you all, before I have one final attempt to get him to understand.
Am I right or wrong to keep banging on about this? Should I just leave? Should I shut up and be thankful for everything else my husband brings to this marriage (despite the bottom two drawers of the fridge being FULL with beer)? Feeling lost and helpless.
Update: Nothing changed. When I ask (plead!) that no alcohol - not even beer - is in the house, he says, "I'm a MAN and I WANT beer in the fridge. Period!"
This man is the love of my life. But he refuses to accept that I have a problem that I've been honest about from before we even got together. I can only see one way out. But I am without any means of income. I have tried to show him what happens when I'm trashed, but the sex is so good (for him I don't remember anything) he wont accept that I will not 'get better'. He feels cheated I think (what he considers to be great sex is no longer available). And I feel cheated out of a life. I'm' not living a life. I'm living a slow death of both my marriage and myself.
We had a big fight a couple of years ago - largely due to my frustration at his lack of understanding - at the end of a night out where he bought me wine after wine after wine. I knew, even in my inebriated state, that I was uncomfortable with the situation growing around me - at which point another full glass appears in front of me. The next day, waking up in a trashed house from the row the night before - he STILL wont admit I have a problem!
The trouble is, that because I don't look like i belong in the gutter he, like his friends, thinks this is some silly notion. He wont believe anything until he sees it for himself. I refuse to put myself in the gutter to prove a point - by then it will be too late for all of us anyway. I have gone as far as I dare go in showing him what happens. I am angry that any disappointment he feels about this is entirely his own fault for not listening. I was two years booze free before this. Needless to say I am gutted to find myself at this juncture.
I am here because I am asking for some perspective from you all, before I have one final attempt to get him to understand.
Am I right or wrong to keep banging on about this? Should I just leave? Should I shut up and be thankful for everything else my husband brings to this marriage (despite the bottom two drawers of the fridge being FULL with beer)? Feeling lost and helpless.