by jessiec » Sat Aug 22, 2015 1:45 pm
I am older than you but can relate so much to your situation. My RABF was very similar - great when sober and a jerk when not. It took me leaving him for good ... and then he sought treatment. I'm not sure where you are with the idea of a power. But God showed me in this that I had NO control over the situation and there was NOTHING I could do but get out of the way. While I begged BF not to drink, my being there and accepting it was enabling him -- he would still be drinking, I fully believe, if I hadn't walked away. We both turned to God. He is now three years sober, and I have a stronger faith relationship. We were able to come back together and be a couple. This is what I think when they say, if you love someone, set him free. You truly cannot help him and might be in the way of his recovery.
I am older than you but can relate so much to your situation. My RABF was very similar - great when sober and a jerk when not. It took me leaving him for good ... and then he sought treatment. I'm not sure where you are with the idea of a power. But God showed me in this that I had NO control over the situation and there was NOTHING I could do but get out of the way. While I begged BF not to drink, my being there and accepting it was enabling him -- he would still be drinking, I fully believe, if I hadn't walked away. We both turned to God. He is now three years sober, and I have a stronger faith relationship. We were able to come back together and be a couple. This is what I think when they say, if you love someone, set him free. You truly cannot help him and might be in the way of his recovery.