by Theresa » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:26 pm
I have been married for 21 yrs to a man who's addiction has only increased over the years. I recognize how I have enabled his addiction, by always forgiving and believing his words. By living in fear that if he left me, my daughter and I could be in a bad situation. He was never a mean drunk, but is now becoming more agitated and verbally cruel when he is drinking, and our teen daughter has only been disappointed by him again and again. I am going to attend my first Alanon meeting soon, as I need to learn how to hold on here for two more years, so my daughter can graduate high school and begin her adult life without such chaos and changes that would surely occur if I were to leave now. We'd have to move out of state to be by family, and she is so happy here at this time in her life, I can't uproot her now.
I too have to get my life back, get in shape again, gain the confidence I once had, and prepare myself for divorce in the near future. He refuses to accept that he has a true addiction, and after years and years of trying all I know how to do to help him, I now concede I am powerless in this, and all the support I offered is not being used. It's time for me to start loving myself out of this marriage, so I can have the future I will find peace and hopefully love again someday. His addiction has drained me all these years, and now it's time for me! I love my daughter too much to uproot her life now, and will wait until she is off to college, but then...........it's my turn.
I have been married for 21 yrs to a man who's addiction has only increased over the years. I recognize how I have enabled his addiction, by always forgiving and believing his words. By living in fear that if he left me, my daughter and I could be in a bad situation. He was never a mean drunk, but is now becoming more agitated and verbally cruel when he is drinking, and our teen daughter has only been disappointed by him again and again. I am going to attend my first Alanon meeting soon, as I need to learn how to hold on here for two more years, so my daughter can graduate high school and begin her adult life without such chaos and changes that would surely occur if I were to leave now. We'd have to move out of state to be by family, and she is so happy here at this time in her life, I can't uproot her now.
I too have to get my life back, get in shape again, gain the confidence I once had, and prepare myself for divorce in the near future. He refuses to accept that he has a true addiction, and after years and years of trying all I know how to do to help him, I now concede I am powerless in this, and all the support I offered is not being used. It's time for me to start loving myself out of this marriage, so I can have the future I will find peace and hopefully love again someday. His addiction has drained me all these years, and now it's time for me! I love my daughter too much to uproot her life now, and will wait until she is off to college, but then...........it's my turn.