by etarna » Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:44 pm
Hi All,
I'm new to the board. I have never been to a meeting and have never considered myself an addict (I know you're all thinking it's denial but REALLY, I have never had an addiction to anything.) I dabbled in cocaine and extacy as a teenager but did have a normal clean life until last year. I am 26 years old, and I don't even know how I let this happen, but I tried crack and heroin for the first time last year, did both a couple times. For a few months I went from being a nice normal girl to leading a really dirty life. Anyway, I ended up leaving the country for 6 months, I guess as a sort of escape from my life, and returned 2 months ago. I always had the drugs in the back of my mind but was able to control it, and tonight for some reason it is just taking a hold of me, and this board was the only thing I could think of to keep me from going out into the streets to find something. So really I don't know what to do. Obviously I know I shouldn't, but I don't know if I can keep myself away from myself..
I know if I just make it through the night I'll be ok, but what happens the next time I feel this way?
And even as I sit here writing this, I don't know how much longer I can keep myself from walking out the door..
Hi All,
I'm new to the board. I have never been to a meeting and have never considered myself an addict (I know you're all thinking it's denial but REALLY, I have never had an addiction to anything.) I dabbled in cocaine and extacy as a teenager but did have a normal clean life until last year. I am 26 years old, and I don't even know how I let this happen, but I tried crack and heroin for the first time last year, did both a couple times. For a few months I went from being a nice normal girl to leading a really dirty life. Anyway, I ended up leaving the country for 6 months, I guess as a sort of escape from my life, and returned 2 months ago. I always had the drugs in the back of my mind but was able to control it, and tonight for some reason it is just taking a hold of me, and this board was the only thing I could think of to keep me from going out into the streets to find something. So really I don't know what to do. Obviously I know I shouldn't, but I don't know if I can keep myself away from myself..
I know if I just make it through the night I'll be ok, but what happens the next time I feel this way?
And even as I sit here writing this, I don't know how much longer I can keep myself from walking out the door..