by TinyDancer » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:24 am
Lisa, I know what you mean about the guilt. My boyfriend had nine months clean and my using brought him back in too. Intellectually, I know it was a choice we each made for ourselves. In my heart, I'm not sure I believe it.
Have you heard about ibogaine? Look into it, it is an African root bark that interrupts addiction to opiates. Many 12-steppers feel in is incompatible with the program, but I know people who've done ibogaine and use NA or AA as the aftercare component of their program. I have done ibogaine, and I can tell you that it is nothing less than a miracle...but that doesn't mean I just woke up the next day and am living happily ever after!! I'm working on myself every day, and am struggling now with PTSD. I am trying to find an NA group that is not hostile to what I have to share and a sponsor that can help me make sense of the steps. When it happens it happens. I also do bodywork (chiropractic, massage and acupuncture - partly for stress/well-being, partly for the chronic pain that was an activating event for my addiction to heroin), herbal and nutritional support, and am in therapy.
Hit it with everything you've got. You can get through this.
Lisa, I know what you mean about the guilt. My boyfriend had nine months clean and my using brought him back in too. Intellectually, I know it was a choice we each made for ourselves. In my heart, I'm not sure I believe it.
Have you heard about ibogaine? Look into it, it is an African root bark that interrupts addiction to opiates. Many 12-steppers feel in is incompatible with the program, but I know people who've done ibogaine and use NA or AA as the aftercare component of their program. I have done ibogaine, and I can tell you that it is nothing less than a miracle...but that doesn't mean I just woke up the next day and am living happily ever after!! I'm working on myself every day, and am struggling now with PTSD. I am trying to find an NA group that is not hostile to what I have to share and a sponsor that can help me make sense of the steps. When it happens it happens. I also do bodywork (chiropractic, massage and acupuncture - partly for stress/well-being, partly for the chronic pain that was an activating event for my addiction to heroin), herbal and nutritional support, and am in therapy.
Hit it with everything you've got. You can get through this.