by mermaiden143 » Fri Jul 18, 2014 2:00 pm
Hi Brian,
I have had addiction in my family for many years, starting with my mom, my brother, countless friends, and even myself for a period of time, and currently my fiance struggles with his addiction. This problem touches so many people, please know you are not alone. There are thousands of people dealing with the same problems you are. Truth is such a powerful need, and I feel the same way, but i have learned through the alanon and naranon programs, that the past and the details are not what matter. Believe me, she does not want to be a liar and manipulate the people she loves. This disease is a very difficult one to beat and the most powerful thing you can do as the loved one, and not the addict, is to show compassion, love, and patience. You didn't cause her problem, you cannot cure it, and you cannot control it. The only thing you have in your power is to look within. By looking within, we improve our defects, we lead by example, and we give the addict a choice. They know they are on a slippery slope, they know that it is unhealthy, and if you take some steps to go to your own meetings and find your own happiness whether the addict is using or not, then you will benefit and so will they. I encourage you to go to meetings and discuss your current issues, there is so much support in the rooms, with tons of stories just like yours -- I promise that one hour will help you find some relief and maybe some hope... God Bless you both. It is a big process for a couple so, just go one day at a time.
Love,
Megan
Hi Brian,
I have had addiction in my family for many years, starting with my mom, my brother, countless friends, and even myself for a period of time, and currently my fiance struggles with his addiction. This problem touches so many people, please know you are not alone. There are thousands of people dealing with the same problems you are. Truth is such a powerful need, and I feel the same way, but i have learned through the alanon and naranon programs, that the past and the details are not what matter. Believe me, she does not want to be a liar and manipulate the people she loves. This disease is a very difficult one to beat and the most powerful thing you can do as the loved one, and not the addict, is to show compassion, love, and patience. You didn't cause her problem, you cannot cure it, and you cannot control it. The only thing you have in your power is to look within. By looking within, we improve our defects, we lead by example, and we give the addict a choice. They know they are on a slippery slope, they know that it is unhealthy, and if you take some steps to go to your own meetings and find your own happiness whether the addict is using or not, then you will benefit and so will they. I encourage you to go to meetings and discuss your current issues, there is so much support in the rooms, with tons of stories just like yours -- I promise that one hour will help you find some relief and maybe some hope... God Bless you both. It is a big process for a couple so, just go one day at a time.
Love,
Megan