by abclimo » Sat Feb 04, 2012 11:57 am
Delcomark: Hi! That's the big question that everyone asks and that I had myself. The answer for me was, "Is there one person that I feel that I could be totally open and honest with and willing to hear what they were saying"? When I was able to answer that with a person's name, I knew that person could be my sponsor. It's difficult to put so much into trusting someone and letting them help us. I wasn't able to answer that question until several months into recovery. Because you are male, you need a male sponsor. Next meeting, stick around a little after the meeting and let some people approach you, and if it's a warm and caring meeting, they will. That's how I did it anyway. They also have pamphlets at some of the meetings that can give you some guidance in choosing a sponsor and on other important topics. There is also the big book that is so inspirational. Inspiration is important, especially when we are questioning so much that we have going on inside. It's so difficult in the beginning when we make the decision that we don't want to continue on in the way that we have been. There's so many feelings and emotions that we have to deal with. A lot of addicts self medicate to help with the intensity of the feelings and emotions and when you start to feel them without that "something" to take the edge off, it can feel like you ran into a brick wall at top speed and can be overwhelming. If you start to feel overwhelmed, break the day down into smaller increments, like a few hours, an hour, or 15 minutes. For me hearing that I could never, ever, etc was so profound that I was totally overwhelmed. You also need to keep telling yourself that you can do it and that you are worth it. We suffer from no self confidence and so many doubts in ourselves as well. Please come back and post and let us all help you through this. Hugs!
Delcomark: Hi! That's the big question that everyone asks and that I had myself. The answer for me was, "Is there one person that I feel that I could be totally open and honest with and willing to hear what they were saying"? When I was able to answer that with a person's name, I knew that person could be my sponsor. It's difficult to put so much into trusting someone and letting them help us. I wasn't able to answer that question until several months into recovery. Because you are male, you need a male sponsor. Next meeting, stick around a little after the meeting and let some people approach you, and if it's a warm and caring meeting, they will. That's how I did it anyway. They also have pamphlets at some of the meetings that can give you some guidance in choosing a sponsor and on other important topics. There is also the big book that is so inspirational. Inspiration is important, especially when we are questioning so much that we have going on inside. It's so difficult in the beginning when we make the decision that we don't want to continue on in the way that we have been. There's so many feelings and emotions that we have to deal with. A lot of addicts self medicate to help with the intensity of the feelings and emotions and when you start to feel them without that "something" to take the edge off, it can feel like you ran into a brick wall at top speed and can be overwhelming. If you start to feel overwhelmed, break the day down into smaller increments, like a few hours, an hour, or 15 minutes. For me hearing that I could never, ever, etc was so profound that I was totally overwhelmed. You also need to keep telling yourself that you can do it and that you are worth it. We suffer from no self confidence and so many doubts in ourselves as well. Please come back and post and let us all help you through this. Hugs!