by abclimo » Wed Jan 25, 2012 8:06 am
Kristen: I'm glad you were back and posted. When we hear "never, ever, or forever" in any situation it is overwhelming. And I think when we're in an already upset state such as trying to kick an addiction to the curb, it is difficult enough without trying to think of never, ever, or forever. It's difficult to admit that we have a problem too and I know when I admitted I had a problem, I felt really crappy about it and went through a lot of "I hate myself for doing this" kind of feelings. Eventually, we learn to deal with those and remember that we are not such a terrible person after all. It's a whole big healing process. I also have something else I do when I am struggling and that is journaling. I journal everyday. In the beginning, when I realized I had a problem, I would journal what I was feeling, what was going on, etc., when I had really bad cravings and right before I used. Then after a while, I would go back and read what I had written. It's amazing what I learned about myself by doing that. So many times we are drinking/using to cover feelings, including feelings of anxiety, depression and more; be more able to deal with things or people; to deal with stress at work, etc. Sometimes we can uncover what feelings we are having when we have the severe need to use/drink and deal with those, and that becomes a huge help. Also, we have to get honest with ourselves and others. At one meeting I went to, there was a speaker with about 21 years clean time and she talked about WHO (willingness, honesty and openmindedness). I have learned so much by going to meetings and the better meetings have never been stressful to go to and no one has ever put stress on anyone to share if they didn't want to. I know that meetings are not for everyone and that it is very difficult to walk into one for the first time. I am a shy person by nature, so when I walked into my first meeting, outside of rehab, I didn't really know what to expect. When I walked through the door, I almost passed out from the stress of it. As soon as I got through the door, I saw that there were only 2 women there and about 9 men and though "oh, boy". I have to say that is still one of my favorite meetings to go to. There was one man, a little younger than I am that came over, hugged me, and welcomed me right away, offered me coffee, and took me to a seat and sat by me and explained how meetings worked. The reason they hug you at a meeting is because you never know when it may be the last time you get a hug from that person, or the last time they receive a hug from anyone. Please keep posting here, and I'll be happy to keep posting back to help you through by answering any questions and just being here for support. Hugs!
Kristen: I'm glad you were back and posted. When we hear "never, ever, or forever" in any situation it is overwhelming. And I think when we're in an already upset state such as trying to kick an addiction to the curb, it is difficult enough without trying to think of never, ever, or forever. It's difficult to admit that we have a problem too and I know when I admitted I had a problem, I felt really crappy about it and went through a lot of "I hate myself for doing this" kind of feelings. Eventually, we learn to deal with those and remember that we are not such a terrible person after all. It's a whole big healing process. I also have something else I do when I am struggling and that is journaling. I journal everyday. In the beginning, when I realized I had a problem, I would journal what I was feeling, what was going on, etc., when I had really bad cravings and right before I used. Then after a while, I would go back and read what I had written. It's amazing what I learned about myself by doing that. So many times we are drinking/using to cover feelings, including feelings of anxiety, depression and more; be more able to deal with things or people; to deal with stress at work, etc. Sometimes we can uncover what feelings we are having when we have the severe need to use/drink and deal with those, and that becomes a huge help. Also, we have to get honest with ourselves and others. At one meeting I went to, there was a speaker with about 21 years clean time and she talked about WHO (willingness, honesty and openmindedness). I have learned so much by going to meetings and the better meetings have never been stressful to go to and no one has ever put stress on anyone to share if they didn't want to. I know that meetings are not for everyone and that it is very difficult to walk into one for the first time. I am a shy person by nature, so when I walked into my first meeting, outside of rehab, I didn't really know what to expect. When I walked through the door, I almost passed out from the stress of it. As soon as I got through the door, I saw that there were only 2 women there and about 9 men and though "oh, boy". I have to say that is still one of my favorite meetings to go to. There was one man, a little younger than I am that came over, hugged me, and welcomed me right away, offered me coffee, and took me to a seat and sat by me and explained how meetings worked. The reason they hug you at a meeting is because you never know when it may be the last time you get a hug from that person, or the last time they receive a hug from anyone. Please keep posting here, and I'll be happy to keep posting back to help you through by answering any questions and just being here for support. Hugs!