by Wayneo88@yahoo.com » Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:23 pm
Wow...I am in shock. I planned on writing almost the same exact thing tonight. It feels as if I have been in a war for the last 10 years. Ahead of me is victory, and I want to get there so bad. Behind me is the battlefield...a charred memory of burnt bridges, friends ive hurt, family ive lost. I feel guilt all the time. I dont know how to become the guy that they fell in love with before my addiction. I've been sober since July 11th..nearing my one month anniversary. Im scared every day..i have no job, no friends, no relationships with anyone other than my wife and kids. Trying to figure out where to go from here is constantly on my mind. I put myself in bad situations in life and to be alive today is a miracle. If i'd have died from one of my binges, my kids would have remembered their father as a weak man. A man that lost a battle to alcohol. I remember that everyday...I get through the day by knowing that I can still be their hero. I can show them how strong their dad is. I can do it for them, and I can do it for me. I hope you find your answers, and Id love to chat with you. Its only been 3 weeks for me, but I can see Victory on the horizon...If you look hard enough, i'm sure that you'll see it too.
Wow...I am in shock. I planned on writing almost the same exact thing tonight. It feels as if I have been in a war for the last 10 years. Ahead of me is victory, and I want to get there so bad. Behind me is the battlefield...a charred memory of burnt bridges, friends ive hurt, family ive lost. I feel guilt all the time. I dont know how to become the guy that they fell in love with before my addiction. I've been sober since July 11th..nearing my one month anniversary. Im scared every day..i have no job, no friends, no relationships with anyone other than my wife and kids. Trying to figure out where to go from here is constantly on my mind. I put myself in bad situations in life and to be alive today is a miracle. If i'd have died from one of my binges, my kids would have remembered their father as a weak man. A man that lost a battle to alcohol. I remember that everyday...I get through the day by knowing that I can still be their hero. I can show them how strong their dad is. I can do it for them, and I can do it for me. I hope you find your answers, and Id love to chat with you. Its only been 3 weeks for me, but I can see Victory on the horizon...If you look hard enough, i'm sure that you'll see it too.