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Re: New

Post by Bailey » Tue Nov 08, 2011 4:33 pm

I'm new here also, and I need a little guidance. I'm a 40 year old wife and mother of 4 and I admit that I am an alcoholic. I did go to a few meetings a couple years ago and I really didn't like it at all. There were many friendly people that welcomed me in, but there were also many men that approached me and made me feel uncomfortable. I did consider going to a womens only meeting but I don't know if I would like that either. I have a lot of support around me, my husband does not drink and I am following the AA 12 steps on my own. I'm just torn, I want to think I can do it on my own, but I'm kind of affraid to be vulnerable and sit with a bunch of people talking about their addictions, sometimes that makes me want to drink more..thoughts??

Re: New

Post by fluffy » Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:57 pm

Hi Everyone,
I am not entirely new to AA/12 step programs. I have 3 weeks w/o alcohol. Having tried AA twice before and accumulating 7 months w/o alcohol I am lucky to be back. It feels different this time because I am "getting" it by listening at meetings for positive things, not judging and being open. I am realizing how I have used "being different" as an excuse to deny my drinking problem. I am also learning a lot of people do not get it the first time. I am fortunate to be back and accepting my alcoholism. Not drinking one day at a time is an important principle of AA.

Continuing to drink after being sick/hung over the next day, and expecting it to be different when I drank again is crazy. I, too, have diagnoses of depression and anxiety. Drinking alcohol increases depression, causes difficulty sleeping and overall is a bad thing. Sure, feeling good for the time drinking was short lived by the suffering afterwards. I am glad to have this opportunity to post on an AA board. Reading previous posts has helped me.

Thank You.

Re: New

Post by Eugene » Sun Oct 30, 2011 12:20 pm

Hi Star my name is Eugene I am not a doctor and I can not tell you about what you should or should not be taking . I am a recovered alcoholic and I do know you can feel better if you don't drink I know the more meetings you make the better you can feel many meetings many chances few meetings few chances no meetings no chance find a sponsor get into working the steps of AA if you want what we have no one can say anything wrong if you don't want what we have no one can say anything right

Re: New

Post by robertoZ » Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:08 am

If you had cancer could you use "self control" to cure it? There is no cure for alcoholism, however, there are many effective ways to mitigate its effects. Meetings, I've found, are the most successful.

Re: New

Post by joeboo2265 » Mon Oct 03, 2011 5:04 pm

Hi Teacher. Do yourself a favor. Look for a meeting out of town. They are everywhere. Just go and listen. And don't drink today. Love the self control thing from your husband. In early sobriety I heard a counselor tell someone who said they were going to stop with willpower. He said next time you get diarrhea, try to get rid of it with willpower. Keep posting and best of luck in sobriety.

Re: New

Post by teacher » Sun Oct 02, 2011 11:53 am

I am new also. I have been binge drinking several times each week now that I am retired. I never used to do such stupid and dangerous things and I believe I am now an alcoholic. My husband drinks with me. We normally talk through the entire evening as we drink. I do not set out to drink too much it just happens. Today I feel like crap. (I am in my very late 50's, usually eat very lightly and I know this causes me to become intoxicated faster since I drink on an empty stomach. ) I don't know if I am an alcoholic OR an alcohol abuser but I want to stop. I do not want to die from this. I just looked up meetings in my area. My husband said I don't need meetings, I need self control. I am a little afraid to attend a mtg. as parents of students I have had may be there and then it will be spread all over town. I have a PT "to die for" job in a very public place and I am afraid someone will see me and it will get back to my employer. I need help. I want to stop. I hate myself for drinking. I quit smoking 19 years ago so I think I can quit drinking but I can go for a few days w/o drinking then I see Sam Adams Oktoberfest staring at me in the grocery store and I have to have it. OR I 'll hear George Thourogood singing "Who Do You Love?" and I must have Sam Adams. I am weak and disgusted with myself and I need help.

Re: New

Post by joeboo2265 » Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:20 pm

Kaylafay; Thank you for the accolades. What am I enjoying most for the last 21 months? LIFE. Living like a sober person. No drama. No insanity. I take responsibility for everything I do today. It's a gift that you will receive if you follow the path. Let us know how your doing.

Re: New

Post by HalstonJazz2 » Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:17 pm

Hi Starr,

I identify with you completely, and have 17+ years of sobriety! "Alcoholism" is a "symptom" as we say. Many of us go to "Mental health" (rehabs; detoxes, etc.) to get a start in recovery. Alcoholism is a mind-body-spiritual disease. Those of us with diagnosis' such as yours, can still get sober, but oftentimes need medication. Be sure to find a psychiatrist that understands alcoholism. In my case it took years to get on the right meds. -- This and AA works!

Re: New

Post by abclimo » Sun Sep 18, 2011 9:20 am

Kayla: Glad to see you are still living the good clean life!!! Please don't feel you have to spare us, by posting online I think we're all helping each other stay clean and sober. Isn't it great when you start to see things in the world that you didn't notice before? Sometimes they are just little things, and sometimes they are profound things and you are like wow. I also love the amount of time I have freed up in my day by not having my addictions anymore, it's amazing looking back how much time they took out of my day, I'm still amazed I was able to get anything done. June

Re: New

Post by kaylafay » Sat Sep 17, 2011 2:21 pm

Thanks joeboo! 21 months is great! Congrats on that! I just think there is so much hope in the possibilities of life without the alcohol. Of course everything isn't hunkey dorey. People still call me at midnight to go out for a drink and I say "No. I'm in for the night." And that's that. Instead I say, "I'll call you in the morning for coffee." When I'm out with my friends who are drinking they say, I miss drunk you. You're so fun when you drink!!! Sometimes that's embarrassing when they say that in front of people I don't know so well. I'm sticking to the idea that I'm the one who had the problem and they aren't completely used to what I'm doing yet. They don't have the problem. I do. They weren't the ones who wanted to stay up all night drinking. They weren't the ones who used alcohol as a go to to have a good time. Alcohol isn't their only definition of fun like it used to be for me. I feel another part of the world opening up to me. Did you feel that?
There are small things that I appreciate, like how it feels like there is more time in the day now. Im not laying in bed recovering for hours like I used to. I don't wake up thinking, what in the world was I even doing for those 8 hours yesterday? I remember my days and nights now. They arent bleeding into eachother like they did before. Even work feels better because I don't feel as irritable. All in all, things are looking up. I don't know how Im doing it this time where I couldn't do it all the times before. I think it took hitting rock bottom. Not that I haven't done that before, but I've never failed in terms of working. I mean, not being able to control my drinking to where I show up at work drunk as a skunk. That was the ultimate shame because every body knew exactly what was going on but me. I was too drunk to even realize that I was a complete mess in a very public way. I don't know what to say. Only that I'm glad that I have this outlet and I can "talk" with people about all of this weirdness that has been going on for nearly a decade. I am going to start writing in a journal again, so I can spare you all of my personal, "I'm taking up a lot of space" rants. Once again, joeboo I'm glad that youve made it this far. I'm sure you're up to all kinds of things you didn't have time for before. What are you enjoying most? I'm keeping in mind that people line you are a testament to the fact that this can be done.
Starr: How are you doing?

Re: New

Post by abclimo » Sat Sep 17, 2011 8:57 am

Joeboo: I'm glad to see your post and that you have been sober for 21 months. You definitely deserve a woo hoo!!! I'm glad you spoke from your experience. The more people posting, the better this site is becoming and I'm sometimes really excited by what I see here!!! Everyone who has made it another day deserves a woo hoo!!! Congrats!

Re: New

Post by joeboo2265 » Fri Sep 16, 2011 8:11 pm

Kaylafay...don't downplay the fact that you haven't had a drink in "only" a week. Its a miracle. You are heading in the right direction. I love the walking in the cemetery thing. Thats awesome. Sitting in your house alone will get people nowhere. If you feel good now after a week, wait till you see how great life is without the drama and insanity of active alcoholism 1 day at a time. I wish you well in your journey. 21 months of sobriety and I am loving it. Post again, would love to read your progress.

Re: New

Post by kaylafay » Thu Sep 15, 2011 11:31 am

Hi Starr. I'm sorry to hear of your anxiety. I know how hard it can be. Our stories are a little different, but I think that they are both rooted in anxiety. For me, the drinking led to more and more anxiety. Where I could of dealt with the anxiety in a constructive way, I chose a drink. By default that drink turned into 9. I didn't have to think about it anymore, but now I had two problems...the original anxiety plus so much more anxiety over being a mess. Regret, gulit, more anxiety, hopelessness. I'm new too. I haven't had a drink in just over a week. Thats not that long, but I have a plan for my anxiety and I'm really determined to stay sober. I'm sure you've tried everything under the sun. I know we all have. It sounds like you have a plan with treatment, but please find small things to drive away the anxiety. I've started to go walking in this huge cemetery by my house. It's a historical site and very peaceful. When anxiety comes on, I ride down there, put my headphones on and walk it out. It works, because there's hardly any people and it feels a whole hell of a lot better than sitting in my house being over come with all these racing thoughts. If you have to cry, bring sunglasses. Keep your chin up. You're being a brave person to set up the appointments and do what you have to do. Sometimes that is the hardest part. Good luck Starr. You can do this.

Re: New

Post by abclimo » Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:40 am

Starr: Hi and welcome. The one thing I keep finding time and time again is how many of us self-medicate to try to get through life. I was self medicating also. If you are are drinking to take the edge off your anxiety, to sleep, etc., then maybe you need something for your anxiety. It turns out that I had been self medicating to cover an anxiety disorder as well, I now take an anti-anxiety medication and things are so much better. I also have 38 days clean and sober and it is a much better feeling than I had gotten when I was using. True, I wasn't addicted to alcohol, I was addicted to prescription pain medication. Either way, an addict is an addict, we have addictive traits and personalities. Definitely try going to meetings, not just one, but try multiple to find the ones you are most comfortable at and go to those, it's amazing what you will learn by going to meetings. If you are not comfortable at first talking, just go and hear to what they have to say, it will be amazing what you can learn that will help you cope, instead of taking that first drink. You have identified that you have a problem, now make a plan, and follow through with it. You can do it, we all can with support from others who have been there.

Re: New

Post by jonas » Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:06 am

Hey man, i am new to this whole things as well. My marriage is hanging by a thread, and i am staying with my parents for the weekend to dry out. Just this friday, after 3 weeks of sobriety (my wife and i had made a deal that i wouldnt drink anymore) i stayed home from work, and bought a pint of whiskey. My plan was to sober up before she came, and all would be fine. I would get my fix, and no one would be the wiser. Unfortunately, she came home and i was completely trashed. I ended up crying on the floor and screaming that i was sorry (from what i can actually remember). I also have depression and ocd disorders. ive been selfr medicating for the past 16 yearswith alchohol and pornography.

Like i said, i am new to this. I have known that ive had a problem with alchohol for years. But i am only now REALLY trying to do something about it. I have found an AA meeting that is held on fridays. Fridays seem to be my worst day, seeing as i can go for a week without drinking, but on a friday, when i dont have work the next day, those are my toughest days. Those are the days that i will scheme to get my fix. I need to get my sobriety for myself first and foremost, and then for my family. I am scared for the future, but i can only hope that things will get better and i can get myself out of this rut.

I dont know if this post is helpful to you or not, but myself being a logical thinker as well, i feel that i can relate to your story. I have a very scientific mind (or so i like to think), and have a very hard time turning to anyone for help. But i now realize that i cant do it on my own, and that is perhaps one of the most difficult things i have had to admit to myself and others.

Be well, and chin up

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