by guest62 » Wed Aug 06, 2008 1:49 pm
Hi. Will try to keep this short, but not sure how successful I can be.
My ex husband was an alcoholic when we were married. We separated in 1994. I've raised our 4 kids mostly by myself for the past 14 years. Their dad has slowly but surely faded out of their lives, and the kids have very little contact with him. I was active in Alanon back in the 90s when his drinking was at it's height. He went to rehab and was sober, at least around me. He re-married in 2001 to a woman w/ 2 boys. They had 2 more children in the past 3 years. My oldest daughter, now 21 initiated contact with him 2 years ago on very specific, positive terms. In the past 3 months or so, she has said she believes he is delusional.
Ex was sent to jail last Oct thru July for non payment of child support and violation of his fed child support charges. When he was released July 8th, he went to Texas, where his "wife" lives. (wife is in quotes as she lists herself as engaged on her myspace, which is a change) At first, he called my daughter and said he was trying to establish a land line in the house. Last week, he called her repeatedly. He said that the wife had kicked him out, he had no money, was living in a shelter, wife has slept around and is a drug addict, oldest stepson is in jail... he has to save his children. (meaning the new babies age 1 and almost 3) Daughter was very upset and wished she could do something. She's a college student about to enter her senior year and works 2 jobs. My sister and sister in law were able to talk to her and help her feel better. Ex's sister also talked to my daughter and apologized for ex's behavior and inappropriateness.
Daughter and I have talked about it, and she was very calm. She asked about Alanon and I told her how it was for me, about meetings. etc. At this point, I just am at a loss. My kids had all made their peace with how things are with their dad and I thought, stupidly enough, that maybe we could enjoy a healthy life full of the regular challenges and joys. I sent my daughter a Courage to change book, and will be getting one for myself and I have signed into an online meeing. Does anyone have any ideas?
Thanks in advance.
Hi. Will try to keep this short, but not sure how successful I can be.
My ex husband was an alcoholic when we were married. We separated in 1994. I've raised our 4 kids mostly by myself for the past 14 years. Their dad has slowly but surely faded out of their lives, and the kids have very little contact with him. I was active in Alanon back in the 90s when his drinking was at it's height. He went to rehab and was sober, at least around me. He re-married in 2001 to a woman w/ 2 boys. They had 2 more children in the past 3 years. My oldest daughter, now 21 initiated contact with him 2 years ago on very specific, positive terms. In the past 3 months or so, she has said she believes he is delusional.
Ex was sent to jail last Oct thru July for non payment of child support and violation of his fed child support charges. When he was released July 8th, he went to Texas, where his "wife" lives. (wife is in quotes as she lists herself as engaged on her myspace, which is a change) At first, he called my daughter and said he was trying to establish a land line in the house. Last week, he called her repeatedly. He said that the wife had kicked him out, he had no money, was living in a shelter, wife has slept around and is a drug addict, oldest stepson is in jail... he has to save his children. (meaning the new babies age 1 and almost 3) Daughter was very upset and wished she could do something. She's a college student about to enter her senior year and works 2 jobs. My sister and sister in law were able to talk to her and help her feel better. Ex's sister also talked to my daughter and apologized for ex's behavior and inappropriateness.
Daughter and I have talked about it, and she was very calm. She asked about Alanon and I told her how it was for me, about meetings. etc. At this point, I just am at a loss. My kids had all made their peace with how things are with their dad and I thought, stupidly enough, that maybe we could enjoy a healthy life full of the regular challenges and joys. I sent my daughter a Courage to change book, and will be getting one for myself and I have signed into an online meeing. Does anyone have any ideas?
Thanks in advance.