by rachael » Mon Nov 26, 2012 5:49 pm
I have just joined this group and saw your post.
I am in a very similar situation. I got married 2 years ago and knew my husband was using Fentanyl but he told me he'd stopped after going to Detox. Then he started using again, but was in denial about his addiction, until I couldn't stand it any longer and started to figure out an exit strategy. He heard I had been talking to a divorce lawyer, and got really scared and stopped - I was with him when he was going Cold Turkey - it was really scary. When this was happening, he told me he'd had to go to detox for an addiction to Oxycontin, before I met him - but he never told me this when we were dating. I have 3 young children who I adopted as a single parent before I met him. Now he's pushing really hard to adopt them and become his legal parent, but I'm terrified he'll relapse and go back to his old ways, and the girls will get caught up in this nightmare. I've said that I want him to get into a recovery program, but he denies that he needs it and is currently refusing. The additional complication is that I am from England and have no family here and I'm worried that if he gets legal custody of the children I could get stuck here with an angry addict in denial, and never be able to go home. On the other hand, I love my husband, and want this marriage to work.
I would love any advice you or anyone else can give me.
I have just joined this group and saw your post.
I am in a very similar situation. I got married 2 years ago and knew my husband was using Fentanyl but he told me he'd stopped after going to Detox. Then he started using again, but was in denial about his addiction, until I couldn't stand it any longer and started to figure out an exit strategy. He heard I had been talking to a divorce lawyer, and got really scared and stopped - I was with him when he was going Cold Turkey - it was really scary. When this was happening, he told me he'd had to go to detox for an addiction to Oxycontin, before I met him - but he never told me this when we were dating. I have 3 young children who I adopted as a single parent before I met him. Now he's pushing really hard to adopt them and become his legal parent, but I'm terrified he'll relapse and go back to his old ways, and the girls will get caught up in this nightmare. I've said that I want him to get into a recovery program, but he denies that he needs it and is currently refusing. The additional complication is that I am from England and have no family here and I'm worried that if he gets legal custody of the children I could get stuck here with an angry addict in denial, and never be able to go home. On the other hand, I love my husband, and want this marriage to work.
I would love any advice you or anyone else can give me.