Please read

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Please read

Unread postby jesus4life » Mon Mar 14, 2011 2:47 am

For anyone who reads this, I thank you. Long story shortish..My name is Jen. I have been drinking since the age of 16 as a means to fit in & run away from an abusive home life. By the grace of God and family and friends they are seeing me through it all. Years ago I ended up in a hospital for hard drugs and later in the hospital for lighter drugs and then in the hospital more than 2 times for drinking binge style. I have been in a mental institution (yrs ago as I am 33) and if you met me you could not tell. I don't feel o.k. I have a broken heart from to many emotionally abusive relationships. I am also gay and feel like giving up on life because of it. I am hanging on by a thread. I have so much anxiety I don't know what to do. When I try and sleep I can't and end up hearing voices and experience weird body highs and have a jolt to wake up right when I hit REM sleep. Has anyone ever experienced this before? I can't take meds,I tried and it don't work. I also believe in the natural way of healing the body. It is more my emotional co-dependency more than anything that triggers my desire to go out and rip it up. I also tried meetings for years, counseling, books etc. I would rather be alone or online for now. I don't seem to bond to well to anyone in person for a duration of time. At least I am still trying to begin a path to sobriety. So it has been one whole day of sobriety. That is why I am here, a newbie. I have no friends to hang with because people are mean. I have tried to end the gay just as much as the drinking and all is a vicious circle. I want to tackle on this drinking at least because I believe it contributes to my anxiety biologically. I feel very hopeless when it comes to finding a mate and it drives at me to wanna throw in the towel because we are not meant to be alone. But it would be nice to be o.k until then. Mostly to be honest I don't cope well with being alone at all. My roomie is gone for weekend and I am freaking out..

Nething positive will be greatly appreciated and may God favor you with healing.

Peace

Jen
jesus4life
Registered User
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 2:09 am

Re: Please read

Unread postby michellew37@yahoo.com » Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:18 pm

DEAR FRIEND YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY AND YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT, ALL PEOPLE ARE NOT MEAN I STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE WE ARE ALL THE SAME I HAVE 5YEARS SOBER AND HAD FIVE YEARS BEFORE THAT I AM SOBER BUT SOMETIMES MY HEAD GOES BACK TO THE SHIT IN MY LIFE NOW AND BEFORE. DO NOT ISOLATE I STOPPED GOING TO MY MEETINGS BECAUSE I THOUGHT I MET THE GUY OF MY DREAMS WHICH IS A BIG PART OF MY STORY, NOW I AM NOT WITH HIM. I AM 39 MY HUSBAND DIED YEARS AGO COMMITTED SUICIDE NOW MY KIDS ARE 15,20, 21 I REBUILT MY WHOLE LIFE BUT NOT MYSELF, NOW EVERYTHING IS CRASHING DOWN AND I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THINGS NOW, SO I AM GOING BACK TO MY MEETINGS WHICH IS MY HOME AND ALWAYS WAS, I WILL NOT HATE YOU, I WOULD BE YOUR FRIEND, EVEN UNTIL YOU GO TO A MEETING YOU CAN E-MAIL ME I WILL GIVE YOU MY PHONENUMBER , JUST REMEMBER ONE THING EVERYONE HAS SKELATINS IN THERE CLOSET WE ALL DID THINGS WE REGRET, BUT I KNOW FOR ME I HAVE TO LEAVE THE CRAP BEHIND AND MOVE FORWARD, I WAS WHAT YOU CALLED THE CHRONIC RELAPSER WANTED TO BUY A SHIRT THAT SAID THAT, IT IS ONE DAY AT A TIME FOR ALL OF US, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF HERE IS MY E-MAIL michellew37@yahoo.com
michellew37@yahoo.com
 


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