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New here!

Unread postby WantingHelp » Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:35 am

Where do I begin? Well, my husband of 9 months wants me to go to AA meetings because he no longer drinks. I dont consider myself to be an alcoholic, but he and his family does. When I met my husband we drank together often, but then we re-joined church. Since then, he has ceased drinking. I also stopped for a period, but relunctantly. So when I started drinking again, he left. He will only return if I start classes and stop drinking. I guess my question is, should I do this because I love him and want a life with him? As I said, I dont see a problem with my drinking but now it has caused a huge burden on my marriage.

I am going to my first meeting next week!
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Re: New here!

Unread postby rob_l » Thu Apr 07, 2011 11:38 am

Nobody call tell you that you are an alcoholic and you can't stay sober for anybody but yourself. Have an open mind, be willing, and be honest when going to the meeting.
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Re: New here!

Unread postby rob_1 » Thu Apr 07, 2011 1:14 pm

Thank you. I dont want to lose myself in my marriage, but I dont want to lose my marriage. Thanks for the advice. There is no one that I can talk to about this at this point, so I truly appreciate your response.

Re: New here!

Unread postby STKPierce » Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:41 pm

Hello Lovelorn,

His love will never keep you clean and place you in recovery. You will have to want to be sober. If being sober isnt on your list of priorities that's your choice. But please do not fool yourself into thinking that someone else can heal you. You must heal you and from that strength will come the ability to love genuinely and to completely immerse yourself in your husband. You must want this for you in order to be happy. If your addiction makes you happy and completes you, then you must wait until you're ready to be on the same page as him. If it never happens then it was not meant to be. But you must remember anything worth having is worth working for annually.

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Re: New here!

Unread postby jcooke03 » Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:24 am

New Here: I can't tell you whether you are an alcoholic or not, only you know the answer to that. If your husband and his family are saying you have a problem, you might want to at least take a look at the possibility. The bottom line is whether you think you have a problem, and until you come to terms with that, you will not stay sober. Nobody can get us sober. It is our responsibility and only when we are truly ready. I would go to a meeting just to see what it is about. See if you can relate with what is being said. It certainly cannot hurt.
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Re: New here!

Unread postby Ups&Downs » Sun May 15, 2011 12:14 pm

This is difficult for me. It started 5 years ago. My husband was getting sick. He was mentally and physically abusive to me. I started drinking to ease the pain.
He had a heart attack 2 years later. The mental abuse stayed. I drank. Then I got laid off. I drank. Last year I got a DUI. I am going thru the ARD program starting this Saturday. The problem I have is no support from him. I cant make it to meetings because I have no money for transportation. I hoped I could talk to someone hear for advice.
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Re: New here!

Unread postby kaiwes1 » Wed Jun 01, 2011 6:14 am

Your marriage is young and your husband taking the responsibility of his drinking is the decision for him. Nobody can give someone else the altenadum do this or else. That's where Al-anon comes in. First give your marriage a chance by attending meetings 4urself. It never proves benefically when one is being cohersed. Becoming an alcoholic doesn't happen over night, maybe you drank to keep up w/ his drinking, maybe he kept up w/ your drinking. This is only a decision one can can find out for themselves. If something else is telling him these are the choices stay w/ me and don't drink, or else doesn't have much experience in the marriage areana nor in the sponsership dept. I strongly suggest AL-Anon it is another great support group.

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