Back again and very scared

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Back again and very scared

Unread postby Sissi0803 » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:08 pm

I am back on here and I hope I never leave again. I have never been so lost and depressed in my life. I feel like I am never going to win this battle........ I need some advice please. Very very depressed.
Sissi0803
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Location: Columbus, Ohio

Re: Back again and very scared

Unread postby BklynChik » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:29 pm

Hi and welcome back!

I don't know exactly what is bothering you, but I'll try my best to help.

First, be easy on yourself. The "one step at a time" slogan can be applied to everything in your life. This disease wants us to stay depressed so we keep drinking. I try to remind mysef of what I hear in the meetings -- "we deal with alcohol--cunning, baffling and powerful..." And it is, truly. There's so many things in life to be upset with and so many reasons to go back to drinking. The important thing is you're here. And you've taken the step to stop.

Have you found meetings in your area? Do you have a sponsor? All these things help. Do not go at this alone. Having the support of people who can understand where you're coming from, who have been there before and who truly care about you getting better is amazing and can help you get through those depressing moments. One day at a time... just keep doing it one day at a time.

There's also professional help if you want it. You don't have to let the depression win. You can fight back either through using your support system or talking to someone who can help. There's no shame in that ever!

You're doing great already. You're here. Don't worry about tomorrow. Can you not drink for just today? For just today... And when tomorrow comes, then repeat. But for right now, don't drink for only today.
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Re: Back again and very scared

Unread postby Sissi0803 » Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:11 pm

Thanks so much for your kind words. I am doing this. I have to or I will die or lose my job. I am so tired of feeling like this. I have so much crap right now. I can make it to my first meeting tomorrow. I need that support and I do have my familys support at least. Thanks again.

Teresa
Sissi0803
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Location: Columbus, Ohio

Re: Back again and very scared

Unread postby BklynChik » Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:31 pm

Let me know how your first meeting goes. I know we're strangers, but I'm proud of you! :)
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Re: Back again and very scared

Unread postby intuit » Fri Aug 12, 2011 11:53 pm

Sissi0803 wrote:
> I am back on here and I hope I never leave again. I have never been so
> lost and depressed in my life. I feel like I am never going to win this
> battle........ I need some advice please. Very very depressed.
you just keep going to meetings and listen don't watch and make vision of what people are saying yet listen and FEEL what you want to hear and apply it to yourself and believe in your new thoughts,to believe is to have a thought and hold on to it until you FEEL good take care and "keep the plug in the jug"
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Re: Back again and very scared

Unread postby rlwright51 » Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:56 am

I so totally understand how you feel. I am an in-and-out person too. Everytime I come in, I am hoping it will be the last and best! So far, I am feeling really good this time. Am trying to make a meeting a day, because they are absolutely a REQUIREMENT for me if I want to stay sober! Don't give up, NEVER stop coming back. We are all here.
rlwright51
 

Re: Back again and very scared

Unread postby radionut » Sun Aug 14, 2011 10:46 am

I am also back again on the roller coaster. Being scared is just plain human, no matter how much education we have and no matter what our lot in life is. You are not alone here. For every post here from those of us who recognise the problem there are porbably 2 or 3 that need to be. It's such a social thing today, can't go anywhere where booze or drugs are the fiber of our personal contacts. This is my second time, I have already started sobriety but it's worth it, you will see. The fear will go away if you have set a reason in your mind to do it. Fear leads way to confidence, it just takes a little time.
radionut
 

Re: Back again and very scared

Unread postby needtobeclean » Sun Sep 11, 2011 10:06 pm

I hope everything work out for you, as well as me I have relapsed after over ten years. But I know i can find my way back
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Re: Back again and very scared

Unread postby abclimo » Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:28 am

Sissi: Hi! The one thing I read in your original post that really popped out at me was being scared. For so many of us, the reason we became addicted was because we were scared in our lives and used either drugs or alcohol to cope with the fear and self-medicated ourselves to the point where we didn't feel anything anymore. For me, when I first got clean and started to feel feelings again, I thought I would end up in the loony bin (I'm able to laugh about it now). I dealt with a lot of those feelings by journaling what I was feeling. When I would put them down on paper, they didn't seem so bad and I was able to let them go once they were out on paper and the fear and all the other bad feelings started to ease. Keep posting, by posting and keeping in touch with each other, we can all help each other to get through our tougher times BEFORE we use again and that's important. You can do this!
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Re: Back again and very scared

Unread postby rainbow » Wed Nov 09, 2011 8:07 pm

I wish you every prayer and hope in this world. AA has saved my life and the lives of thousands.

I've been sober 28 years. Yeah you might think it's a big deal and temptation leaves but it doesn't. My 45 year old daughter died in September. The other night I was invited to a church service to help anyone who has experienced the death of a family member this year. I was very anxious (stressed) about going. While I was getting ready to leave I thought "if I had a large glass of vodka" it would be easier to attend. I thank God that my next thought was "where did that come from? You wanna make everything worse by picking up?"

I didn't drink. I don't keep alcohol in my house.

It says in the Big Book that God could and would help us if He were asked and I asked Him for sanity to re-enter my mind and soul. A Power greater than me is getting me through the worst time in my life and He will get any of us through anything.

Pray, pray, and then pray some more. It's my answer. :)
rainbow
 


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