The ping pong ball

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The ping pong ball

Unread postby stressedeng » Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:36 pm

Another one of falls down. Went thru a short rehab 2 years ago, stayed sober for 8 months then my daughter came home from school and had a bunch of friends over and when I came down in the morning there were more empty booze bottles than one could count. The bathroom in the foyer was full of vomit on the floor, the toilet you name it and it was there. My daughter was a motivating force in my attempt to stop drinking. My habit, I thought was pretty normal. Come home from work, come up to my office, make a manhatten and go to work on the computer. I am an very successful engineer working in the broadcasting industry and I do a lot of design work at home. A hour or so later it's a light dinner with a light head. I recently lost my dad to a long bout with cancer, simply horrible. Then slowly but surely the drinking/work time got longer. My wife complained, but hey I was just working, right? After all, I have 3 degrees, I must know what I am doing! Then one Saturday morning I had 2 projects running due Monday and I took a hit, then another and another. I never go to bars, don't drink at social events because of the driving issue. I knew I had a problem, so I went back to the after work game. Little by little I alienated my wife, daughter who moved back home after she finished school and my son who is attending school locally. Everybody demanded I stop, but hey they all drank too. I started meetings a week ago, and my head is getting clear. I have relationships to repair and I am trying. The world I live in revolves around booze. The clients always want meetings at the bar, it is so damn hard to get away from it. Me, being a functioning alcoholic got promoted this week. Crazy as it sounds, it woke me up. What could I do if I had a clear head.Maybe it was a messsage that I got something big, but I had to give back something big..alcohol!. This site is great, I have browsed thru it and it is giving me something other than work and drinking to do. I need a lot of support, here I see I can get it. Can't get it from my friends, they are all at the bar right about now. It's going to be a long tough road, pray for me. I have been doing a lot of that myself.
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Re: The ping pong ball

Unread postby norma » Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:55 am

I know what you mean, but you are already ahead of the game. You know there is an issue and you are doing something about it for you and your family. You should be proud of that! :D So, you are already stronger. But I know all to well how hard it can be to stop. That voice in my head is always rationalizing the drink. "I worked hard this week, I deserve it" That is just one... You are not alone. Keep writing...It has helped me these few days of my sobriety. You helped me the other day. :D Just knowing there are others out there who think and feel the same way helps. I too am tempted lots. Many of my friends and colleagues drink. They drink lots! It can be angering to see others be able to control it. But are they really? No one truly knows the struggles of others. You know that old saying, the grass is never greener.... The most important thing in that thought is your perspective, your experience, and your courage. You should be extremely proud of yourself. You have been given a great moment of clarity with your promotion and your realizations. I wish you the best for today....and the days that follow. You can do it!!! :D One day, one hour, one moment at a time.
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Re: The ping pong ball

Unread postby BklynChik » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:17 am

You've made great strides this week: You've admitted you had a problem and you're doing something about it by going to meetings.

What I'm learning is that to recover from this disease, we have to work the program by doing the steps and by getting a sponsor. Have you spoken to anyone at the meetings about being a temporary sponsor? A temporary sponsor can at least help keep you sober through the first days/weeks until you get a permanant one. If you haven't done so already, when you go to your next meeting let the group know you're new. Go up to the chair after the meeting and ask about getting a temporary sponsor. Get phone numbers of people so you can have support when the desire comes up.

I was told to not make amends or to do any of the step work without a sponsor, for what it's worth.

Good going on being here! Keep coming back. :)
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Re: The ping pong ball

Unread postby robertoZ » Mon Aug 22, 2011 7:38 am

One of the ways we help others is by modeling sober behavior. People who knew what we *were* like and know what we are like *now* know that we're on to something big. The change in us is massive. When they are ready, their mind will know who to whom to talk.
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Re: The ping pong ball

Unread postby Karenbritt48 » Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:37 pm

Hello all. I have struggled with my alcoholism for twenty years. I had 10 years of sobriety and then picked up again. I recently lost my partner due to my last two drinking episodes last week. I know I need to get sober for myself in order to be able to help others; however I am scared that I will fail again. Reading through your posts as helped me alot. I have so much guilt and sadness regarding how I have hurt loved ones and I know that as long as I drink I will contrinue to hurt myself and others. I need to make some serious ammends, but I feel as if I have so much work to do before reaching that point. I feel very blessed to have found tis website and hope that I can help support others in their journey.
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Re: The ping pong ball

Unread postby joeboo2265 » Fri Aug 26, 2011 1:30 pm

Karen....treat your drinking past like the rear view mirror of a car. Glance at it every now and again, but don't stare, or you will crash. Follow the program. Don't drink and go to meetings. Show everyone that you are changing yourself as a person, one day at a time. It's a journey everyday, something I wouldn't trade for anything. Do the next right thing for yourself. Reply when possible. Would love to know how you are doing.
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Re: The ping pong ball

Unread postby Jason1 » Sat Aug 27, 2011 2:50 pm

joeboo2265 wrote:
> Karen....treat your drinking past like the rear view mirror of a car.
> Glance at it every now and again, but don't stare, or you will crash.
> Follow the program. Don't drink and go to meetings. Show everyone that you
> are changing yourself as a person, one day at a time. It's a journey
> everyday, something I wouldn't trade for anything. Do the next right thing
> for yourself. Reply when possible. Would love to know how you are doing.
You are very right! I must say some very unusual choice of words there! :lol:
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