4th step

[rj606]

I posted years ago but never made it to sobriety till this year.

I've been sober 6 months and 25 days. I am feeling very vulnerable and not liking the anger I am feeling towards myself doing the 4th step. I know this step is the beginning of the serious step work but I do see people in meetings that are happy after working all the steps. I'm 70 and struggle with emotional issues also that sometimes get in the way of progress in the program. Was hoping some people can let me know about how to deal with anger and accept it without taking it out of proportion.
Thank you,
Ron

Also, any words of encouragement for an alcoholic senior?

[emack]

find something to be thankful for everyday.it has helped me greatly with my sobriety.i believe that the positive will help.there is so much to be thankful for and more to come.i know it sounds weird ,it did to me too but once I started looking
for the good and being thankful things got much much easier.

[Emilefel]

I believe positivity is the key. Positivity is just like a muscle, the more you work on it the stronger it gets.

[1Peter5:10]

Hi RJ,

'How to deal with anger issues?"
Good topic.

My dad was an angry drunk. My dad was an angry man.

At age 36 he came home from work one day, still sober I presume, and got himself worked up over over the bad things had happened to him at work. In fact he got so angry, so worked up, that he popped a blood vessel in his head and died.

Alcohol did not kill my dad. What killed him was the fact that he used alcohol as his medicine and his medicine failed. If you had asked him a week before if that's how he'll die he would have told you that's preposterous.

That's a true story.

The short (over-simplified) answer to your question is we ASK GOD to help us remove our shortcomings. For a lot us, a big part of our problems was that we thought we could fix them alone.

Even normal people will tell you they seldom
- keep their new year's resolutions,
- stay on a diet,
- save money for retirement etc.

It makes sense we'd be even worse at it, especially when "it" is an involuntary emotional reflex like anger, fear or self-pity.

I thought I could handle my resentments on my own.
I failed.

I thought I could handle my drinking on my own.
I failed.

I thought I could handle my finances on my own.
I failed. (I spent money
like a drunken sailor.)

What do you think my chances would be, trying to self-correct something like my own anger issues?
.
.
.

There is no "wrong time" to work on our character defects. It is never too early to try to be a better person. So there is nothing wrong with starting to address your anger problems now.

Still, if you are working step 4, presumably, with a sponsor, and
simultaneously trying to correct your character defects, you MIGHT want to add impatience to your list. Leave it to an addict to try to find a quick fix to his problems. (Wink.)

I wish you well.

[1Peter5:10]

Hi RJ,

'How to deal with anger issues?"
Good topic.

My dad was an angry drunk. My dad was an angry man. At age 36 he came home from work one day, still sober I presume, and got himself worked up over over the bad things had happened to him at work. In fact he got so angry, so worked up that he popped a blood vessel in his head and died.

Alcohol did not kill my dad, the fact that he used alcohol instead if addressing his problems did.

That's a true story.

The short (over-simplified) answer to your question is we ASK GOD to help us remove our shortcomings. For a lot us, a big part of our problems was that we thought we could fix them alone.

Even normal people will tell you they seldom keep their new year's resolutions, stay on a diet, save money for retirement etc. It makes sense we'd be even worse at it, especially when "it" us an involuntary emotional reflex like anger, fear or self-pity.

I thought I could handle my resentments on my own.
I failed.

I thought I could handle my drinking on my own.
I failed.

I thought I could handle my finances on my own.
I failed. (I spent money
like a drunken sailor.)

What do you think my chances would be trying to self-correct something like my own anger issues?

There is no "wrong time" to work on our character defects. It is never too early to try to be a better person. So there is nothing wrong with starting to address your anger problems now.

Still, if you are working step 4, presumably, with a sponsor, and
simultaneously trying to correct your character defects, you MIGHT want to add impatience to your list. Leave it to an addict to try to find a quick fix to his problems. (Wink.)

I wish you well.