can't stop my behavior

Posting as a Guest - you do not need to register to post a message in any of the forums, but the message does need to be approved by a moderator before it is displayed.
Registered Users - your posts do not need to be approved.

Moderators: November_rain, John

Forum rules
Please consider replying to an existing message. It only takes a minute and you may help someone else in need. A simple word of encouragement goes a long way.

can't stop my behavior

Unread postby jendig » Thu Sep 25, 2008 6:31 am

Hello....I have had over 4 years sobriety and that was 2 years ago. I slipped, allowed myself to use stress with job and a difficult period of time with my teenage son to fall back into drinking. My family held an intervention with me and I went to Rehab. Came out feeling great with a new sense of self and conviction. Flew to California to help my partner move back to PA. While on the plane I sat next to a gentleman that was pounding beer after beer. While on his 4th beer, I ordered one myself and that was 1 1/2 years ago. My career to a change and I know that I have placed myself in even a greater opportunity to continue with my drinking. I have been staying in a hotel room since June and travel home on the weekends. I have been determined to not drink and find myself running to the liqour store every afternoon....and then when I go home, I think a drink or two will be ok. I have been slowly killing my relationship with my partner and my two sons who I love more than anything in the world...yet I continue to drink. My I am scared, I have looked up meetings in the area, yet never have gone due to the demands of my job and frequent meetings that come up during the times I know I can go. At the end of the day, I have already bought some alcohol and the eve. meetings just do not happen. I am scared, I am ashamed and I am alone which scares me even more due to how I have fallen in the rut I am in. I do not want to hurt anyone yet I continue to see the results...I know better, yet here I am again. I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear, but then again I k now that is not what I want to do....Any suggestions as to how to kick start myself...my Big book etc are next to me on my night stand in the hotel. I once again emptied out the alcohol in my room as I head out for another day of work away from home. I have scheduled myself to play racquetball in the gym as I had once done when I was sober and it helped so very much....
I feel the depression creeping in...help with any words that may sink in to me once again...
jendig
 

Re: can't stop my behavior

Unread postby calady » Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:44 am

Hi, Diana Year and a half sober. What I have learned is that from your post is you need to get out of the hotel, go to a meeting now. Your in a dangerous situation. You know insanity right? that's what you describe. Get out and save your life. AA will be there for you and things will change. Just stop and call. This is your life at stake. NOTHING is more important then your sobriety, job family...nothing. Just do it! let me know how it went!!
calady
Registered User
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:35 am

Re: can't stop my behavior

Unread postby calady » Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:48 am

Oh I forgot, read the first 164 in the big book, my favorite the promises on page 83 and 84, read the prayers on page 86 and remember racketball schmacket ball! If that would help we'd all be sober!!!! Call someone sober, another alcoholic that will get you started.
calady
Registered User
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:35 am

Re: can't stop my behavior

Unread postby bigeazy » Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:10 pm

Your continued drinking is not a slip....we find slips on ice and under skirts! What it boils down to is priority/choices...you also profess your love for your children..what you omitted was that you love drinking more...been there done that! It's so easy for us to dress everything up and make it presentful to others..however in the words of my grandfather..I only believe half of what I see, and none of what I hear...walk the walk. The road to recovery is very simple as proven by those who have gone before me..however if I choose to deviate from a path that has been clearly carved for me then I am trying to rewrite that what has already been writen..experience has taught me this is a simple program for complicated people.....so remember KEEP IT SIMPLE
bigeazy
Registered User
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 11:13 am
Location: NEPA

Re: can't stop my behavior

Unread postby Broken record » Fri Nov 14, 2008 2:19 pm

something or someone else will stop it.....beleive me the wall is coming ever closer. We usually don't see it until SMASHHH......I hate this disease, it has enslaved me again as well. The only thing left is to drag ourselves to a meeting, beg God for strength and seek out every recovering person we know or don't and say "I'm helpless hopeless and I can't stop using".....A day at a time "we can get a daily reprieve based on our spiritual conditioning" I believe it, I've lived it and it sounds like you have as well so your brother in pain and recovery hopes you can find that strength
Broken record
Registered User
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2008 2:42 am


Return to Alcoholism - General Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests

cron