scared of the steps

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scared of the steps

Unread postby TomThumb » Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:12 am

It was so easy to get threw the first 3 steps,once I finally gave myself to a higher power.I found a sponser this time something I never did . for the first time since getting clean I feel like I belong.That is until I had to once again look inward and remember all the things I had done to people over the years.even though I always told myself I am not hurting anyone else by drownding myself.The fourth step is making me realize I did in many more ways than I had imagined.I was just starting to dream again to get my life back on track but looking back I dont deserve another day after what Ive done to others.
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Re: scared of the steps

Unread postby young_simon » Fri Feb 27, 2009 1:08 pm

the first three steps can keep you clean for a while......think of the other 9 as insurance,they will help you maintain longterm sobriety by cleansing your soul and helping you maintain cleanliness in the future.....some would problably disagree with me, try this, take 4 sheets of blank paper, keep it in your pocket at all times, when you remember your misconducts write them down......i sat in a coffe shop for about an hour on a sturday,then again on a sunday and got most of it done......it doesnt have to be perfect,stay sober and you can do another one later with whatever you may have forgotten.....if you are feeling stuck,another great step to check out is step 10, read about it in the 12 steps and 12 traditions book.....it sounds like you are working on 4 but when if you incorporate a little bit of 10 in your life everyday you will end up with less new wreckage.....check out the part about restraint of pen and tongue, it helped me to have less stress because i started keeping my mouth shut and getting along with others..........dont let yourself get discouraged by the steps,and my advice to you is get with your sponsor and do it exactly as he or she says......i kept asking different people about their opinion of the fourth step and how they did it and this eventually pissed my sponsor off because i was trying to do it my way, not the way he was telling me to do it, and his attitude became kind of like "if you want to do it the way somebody else did it,then let them sponsor you".......just keep plugging along and it will be done before you know it.....good luck :lol:
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Re: scared of the steps

Unread postby joeliejoel » Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:16 pm

The Big Book is an ingenious piece of self discovery. It is designed and very specific in it's intent to make you come to terms with your 'rat-bastard self' because it is only in facing the pain you've caused yourself and others that Reckoning can occur. One of the beauties of truly surrendering to your Higher Power is this sense of accountability and the catharsis that comes from owning up to it in the face of another. Be diligent, honest and forthright and you will find, without equivocation that peace comes. Namaste.
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