scared alone

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scared alone

Unread postby msunderstood1 » Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:55 am

I am a 40 year old single mom. I was married forever. But we (my husband and I) started using cocaine once in a while. Eventually after a few years it had gone from twice per month to 4 times a week, sometimes more. Any way when we used I drank beer with it. It got to be too much, I left and have NOT used cocaine in over a year May 17th was a year. However Vodka now every nite. I cant sleep I am depressed about the end of my marriage, my family life. My husband and I together made enough money to live comfortably, including hair appointments, nail salons, shopping. When I left I lost all that, but I am okay on my measley $16,000 a year no child support. Hopefully that will change going to legal aid on Wednesday. I don't drink and drive with my kids. I work 6 days per week, I guess I am a functioning alcoholic. I have my own apt, and cook dinner every nite and help him with his homework. We are working on a puzzle its just I always have / need that drink. I can't sleep with out it. And obviously I can't sleep with it, b/c it is 4:53am and I passed out around 10:30, woke up at 3:29, can't get back to sleep and though I argued with myself about it here I sit with my drink ~ Vodka with a spalsh of Ice tea. I have to leave here at 7 to get my son off to school and myself to work.

Re: scared alone

Unread postby Guest » Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:06 pm

Get to a meeting and talk to another Woman. Your body won't know how to sleep until you are clean for awhile. Don't kid yourself that you are not driving drunk with your kids. If you are drinking at 3 in the morning and driving at 7, you are legally drunk. Forget the past and start over. It took me awhile to get 30 days clean( a few years) but that was 15 years ago. It is all about One day at a time. You didn't get this way in one day, it will take a little time to return to your old happy, joyous and free self

Re: scared alone

Unread postby out of towner » Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:45 pm

Get to an AA meeting TODAY. Don't put it off, you will find the help you need. Stop the drinking, then everything else will begin to come together. Only 3 months for me, but happier than ever.
out of towner

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