Scared to death!!

[damien214]

I have come to realize that I do have a drinking problem. I binge drink quite frequently and have blackouts pretty regularly. Lately I find myself having a bad day so I stop and buy a bottle of SoCo...and I feel better...for the night. I confided in a new friend of mine who just made it to her 1 year!! I am completely scared to death. She wants me to come to a meeting tonight. I am scared beacause I am still slightly in denial and once I step foot in that meeting....it will all become real. I wish I could get rid of the fear I am feeling right now...but I don't know how....any sugguestions??

[ari]

i know exactly how you feel i got sent home from school on medical leave for drinking three years ago and had to go to rehab because of it but i didnt want to admit that i really did have a drinking problem i still dont i just want to be able to be like everybody else and be able to drink when i want and it not turn into a life altering decision. going to a meeting however doesnt make you an alcoholic if youre a binge drinker it may just be something your going through but if youre like me you probably know its not just a phase. however there is a difference between binge drinking and alcoholism and you may not be an alcoholic. going to a meeting will help you to see that even if you are its ok and youre not alone people in the rooms have been where youve been and weve all been threw the not wanting to accept that you have a problem. but if you know that you have a problem and youre not going because youre scared that it'll be all to real i can tell you from personal experience that while thats exactly what i thought and how i felt the first time i went to a meeting i felt good after id gone. you dont have to tell your story and if you want to you can, people will want to help you there and they'll give you there numbers and tell u to call if you need to talk and theyll mean it its a great way to build a support system if you really are looking to get sober good luck!

[damien214]

Ari....thanks for responding....I did end up going to a meeting last night. I am an Alcoholic. I finally admitted it to myself. It is all real now. the people in the meeting were all so welcoming and caring and hugged me....I cried the entire time that I was there. I even shared..even tho I binge drink....i was doing it more freequently and blacking out most nites. I am a single mom with a 2 yr old. I would pass out drunk while he was home with me...sometimes he was still awake after I passed out. I recieved a 24 hr coin last night!!! even though it wasnt quite 24 hrs yet...but at 130 am last night my good friend and I high fived cuz I did make it to 24 hrs!!! I am now taking it one day at a time like they say. At the end of the meeting while doing that whole circle thing....i was shaking so badly...and the two men I was holding hands with just squeezed my hands so tightly and jsut whispered that it was all gonna be okay. The entire experience was overwhelming scary and amazing all at the same time. It is so crazy that a room full of strangers can care that much on day one of meeting you. Even today...I cant stop crying....i am just so overwhelmed with all these mixed feelings that I cant even describe.

[tommyd]

Good for you Damien and good for AA !

The "one day at a time" is how to view
everything especially sobriety.Even if
it's only 5 minutes 10 minutes at a time
use it.

Just don't pick up and let the miracle occur

Listen......don't compare....try to indentify......
take what you need.

Welcome,

Tommy D

[joep54321]

Just take it one day at a time. I recently fell off the past couple of weekends but kept coming back. I went last night which was a friday and didn't drink. My main thing is I can't beat my self up. I can't get down if I messed up yesterday and I can't worry about tomorrow . I just have to stay sober for this moment and let everything fall into place. Good Luck. Don't drink,make meetings, and don't be afraid to pick up the phone and call someone.

[yhtak804]

help me please???

found aa to be a bunch of winey people who THERE life fall apart to the point of living in a box on a grate

yes, soooooo sorry but i did

i drink

i am an alcoholic

i am one step away from loosing my rn license that i worked so hard to get

one step to left i loose everything

one step to the right im fine

left AA FEELING THAT MY LIFE WAS NOT SO BAD

THEY WENT THROUGH MUCH MORE THAN ME

DUI LOSSE OF FAMILY, FRIENDS , LOVED ONES,,,, LEFT THINKING I NEED A DRINK FOR ALL THEY WENT THROUGH

NOT AT THAT POINT YET

NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE .............LIKE I SAID ONE STEP TO THE LEFT I LOOSE MY RN LICENSE THAT I WORKED OH SO .........HARD TO GET ......


ONE STEP TO THE RIGHT IM CURED OR AT LEAST IN REMISSION


I KNOW I NEED HELP


ANY SUGGESTIONS???????????????????????

[CPICK43]

I GIVE UP, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY 9 YEAR OLD SON I DETERATING, MY JOB IS SUFFERING, I LOST 6 BUSINESSS,MY EX WIFE, NEW GIRLFRIEND& SHE THOUGHT I WAS SO COOL, BLOCKED MY PHONE,IVE BATTELING THE FOR 30 YEARS,THIS WEEK I CONSUMED 16 BOTTLES OF WINE, WHO COULD POSSIBILITY BE ALIVE,AND WHEN I DRINK I SMOKE LIKE A FIEND, IM GOING TO MY FIRST REAL AA MEETING MONDAY AND FOR FIRST TIME IM LOOKING SO FORWARD TO IT.IM SO NORMAL SOBER EVERY BODY WANTS TO BE AROUND ME, WHAT DOPE I,VE BEEN.

[kat]

i read your posts and am in similar shoes. don't know if i'm an alcoholic or a binge drinker, but i do know i have a problem. i'm scared. i used to use food for consolation, but since my gastric bypass in 2002, food wasn't an option so i switched to wine. it started very innocently going to wine tastings and now i'm addicted. i hide it sometimes, but mostly my husband and daughter (17) are aware that this is a problem for me. i'm so embarrassed. my gastric bypass surgeon knows of this "transfer addiction" and wants me to see a clinical physchologist for treatment. again, i'm scare. as much as i feel guilty about my behavior, i am scared at the thought of giving up wine completely...forever...i know...you'll tell me "one day at a time". i did go to a few aa meetings after i got a dui last december (yes...me...mother of the year...got a dui and was totally humiliated). i don't know what to do now. feel lost...and i'm drinking.

[mBloome]

There are so many people like us out there. you are definetly not alone. you need to take that scary first step in order to change your life. have you thought about a treatment center? i went to rehab 2 months ago. It was the best decision i have made. I met a lot of great people with the same experiences as me. I went to a place called KLEAN Treatment center in LA. (They also came out with this cool new application for iPhones/iTouch that helps remind you to call your sponsor, and keeps all your 12 Step Sponsor contacts on hand and has a quick one-touch dial system. You can download it for free at: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/12-step- ... 94367?mt=8)

But anyways... I got clean there and I learned a lot of great tools for real life recovery after rehab. The most important thing for recovery is support. You can do it

[jones]

Has anyone ever heard of someone who has a drinking problem, like occasional binge drinking coupled with frequently, as in 3-5 nights a week having a few drinks, like 3-5 beers, and has gone to some meetings, and been able to become a "normal" drinker--that is only a few drinks, only every once in a while? If this question sounds like I am in a certain amount of denial it's because I probably am.

[Annonymous]

i found this website and feel like it may be the only way i can express how i feel and have people actually understand what i am going through. i stopped drinking 3 months ago and my family and boyfriend are the only ones who know. i told my friends i am on a medicine that i cant drink on because i know they wont understand anything i'm going through. im only 20, and every one of my friends drinks every chance they get and it seems like it is the only way they can have fun. i'm so sick of people revolving their lives around getting drunk and i really want to meet people my age that dont idolize alcohol. i have been doing out patient therapy, but it is one on one so i have not been able to meet any other people that are in my shoes. i'm considering giving a meeting a shot but i have a feeling it won't be for me... but it may be the only way i meet people my age. my family and boyfriend are more than supportive, but sometimes it gets really hard because my boyfriend is away at school and he still drinks on the weekends. when he's out drinking with his friends im usually at home alone just thinking about him and worrying and also thinking about when we were able to drink together before it got out of hand. i've been really lonely lately and just want to talk to people that can relate to what i am going through.

[Nooly]

I'm a mom of four children. All of them drink, and the two younger ones are alcoholics. It has changed the course of their lives in so many ways. You're right in that so many young people feel that drinking is the only way to be social and meet others and spend their time. My suggestion to you, based on many years of making my own mistakes, is to visit different churches in your area. Visit them until you find one that offers social activities for people your age. They are out there, you just have to spend some time researching. You might even want to call some and ask questions over the phone. Also, you will meet people at the AA meetings with whom you will grow into relationships and become your own support group for each other. Please don't give up. I failed in helping my children for so many years. I wish you the best in your efforts to stay sober.

[patti]

i have recently relasped, after 8 plus years sober.....i am scared............and how do i tell my husband. i feel so guilty and sad, and mad

[Kathryn K.]

The 3rd tradition states, "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking/{using}". We're all addicts one way or another & have VERY similar "isms".

[Kathryn K./Kitsy]

Of course it's scary but be grateful you didn't stay "out there" like I did. Nine months to lose "people, places, things." I stayed out there for 2-3 years after that cuz I felt entitlted.."poor me, poor me, pour me anothrer drink". After 5 years of sobriety, I'm FINALLY cleaning up my side of the street & see the light @ the end of the tunnel. My 5 minute miracle took 5 years. You'll know when the time is right to tell him. But try not to use the excuse "injure them or others". I used that a lot since I was so scared to be open w/ANYONE. The hows' & whys' are unimportant @ this time. How he reacts is out of your control. Pray on it.