Almost made it.

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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby Rain » Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:29 am

Sissi0803 wrote:Hey almost made it.

I totally agree with you about AA. I get more depressed when I go to AA and want to drink more. In my opinion it is nothing more than a bar without Alcohol. All the loser men waiting for the next victim. It is a revolving door and I only know a handful of people that it has actually worked for. It is like a freaking cult, it is their way or no way and they are not experts or doctors. I hate AA and that is great if it works for others but it does not for me and I have tried it on and off for years.



There is a difference between going to an AA meeting, and working the program of AA. I personally know hundreds that the program of AA has worked for, and I don't know of anyone that stayed sober for any length of time just going to meetings.

The program of AA requires rigorous honesty, openness and willingness. It may be simple, but it isn't easy, and not everyone can do it.

But if you haven't worked all 12 steps, in order, and with a sponsor that has done the same, you haven't tried AA.

Going to a meeting doesn't make me sober any more than standing in a garage makes me a car.

If AA isn't for you, why not find this other program, and get some help from them? Unless staying here and drinking is your goal why not give them a try and report back?

Best Wishes for your Success,
Rain
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby mom4mykidz » Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:21 am

you came to this site and that is a great start.....I am struggling too and I read your post and I felt a little better that I'm not alone
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby gunnre » Wed Sep 22, 2010 9:22 pm

Sissy.....So sad your passion leans to hatred. I too spent alot of time in and out of AA and more than once I walked away. I to lived in a passioned world of hatred. Truth is, I was not willing to be completely honest with myself and I was not willingly to do the work suggested by the 12 steps. Today I don't have to live that way. Today I don't leave the house expecting the world to give me what I want, need, desire. Today I face the world seeking to the best of my ability to see what I can give. Funny thing happened along the way, the world is no longer out to get me. It is no longer mean and ugly. The world is really quite beautiful. I no longer have bad days, I only have good days and great days. My good days are those when everything seems to go my way and I don't celebrate with a drink. My great days are those days when nothing seems to go my way and I don't have to drink my problems away.....nagging spouse, cranking teenage childres, unbearable boss, divorce, death etc.
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby ibemadshell1 » Sat Sep 25, 2010 9:18 pm

So I went 2 days....now it's the weekend and I gave up. I know I drink to be entertaining. If I'm sober I'm not happy or fun. I have been told this by "friends" . They expect me to entertain. Unless I find a way to to look past this. .I"ll never recover. I have no suport. I'll die this way.
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby justdontknow » Sun Sep 26, 2010 11:08 am

all i can say is i got a DUI and was made to goto AA for 2 years and i fought it tooth and nail!!! BUT after going to a speaker meeting and hearing the person's story i was like omfg that sounded just like myself then they said they had 5 years sober and i was like BULLS*IT till i stuck around (getting my signatures) and seen some truely happy people and before i knew it i felt better after i left the meetings than when i went in...before i knew it i was actually happier but it took a LOOOONGGGGG 4 years to get there and now i have an honest 2 years sober...i havent been to a meeting in a while and i miss them and some of the people there! I hope you can give it a fair shot, goto a few meetings and find someone you can relate to and remember to "compare stories NOT judge".
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby Rain » Sun Sep 26, 2010 2:07 pm

Help me understand.

You went to the SHARE program for two days and then quit their program?
or
You quit drinking for two days and then started drinking again?

"I'll die this way"

Yes, probably. A lot of the death certificates that say accident, or suicide, esohpageal hemorage etc. are really deaths caused by alcoholism. LOTS of people die from the effects of alcoholism, and sadly sooner is better than later. Later involves insanity and "wet brain" issues. It's not at all pretty.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and I certainly don't wish it on you, but that's the reality of the situation.

Sorry.
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby ibemadshell1 » Mon Sep 27, 2010 10:47 pm

Went to an AA meeting (almost) left before anybody saw me there. Almost made it in the door because I don't want to die. Left because I was too embarrassed. Stupid I know, but how do I overcome embarrassment and alcohol at the same time. Afraid that I might see somebody I know, at the meeting or just there on other business at the church. I live in a small town. Knowing that all of my friends and neighbors know my religious beliefs, I can't say I'm there to help out with a church function. Ugh. I guess I need to find a spot out of town, but then that cuts into my time that I have to go. I'll make it in the door one day ...soon I hope, and give it a try. I know it's stupid to feel embarrassed but I can't help it.

It sucks that I'm so functional. If I was a lazy neglectfully mom, horrible wife and just a waste of life (well I guess I do feel that way) but the fact is I wake up at 6:30, get the kids off to school , walk the dogs , clean the house, pay the bills, do the laundry, go to work, volunteer at the school, get home in time to make a family dinner, do home work and give the kids their baths, all while sucking down 2 to 3 bottles of wine, rum, gin, vodka...whatever the day brings. Stay up to 1 or 2 and then start the day all over again. It's going to end one day...and I'm the one that needs to end it, before it ends me.
.
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby Rain » Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:43 am

Well, maybe you're not an alcoholic
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby weezie » Wed Oct 06, 2010 7:14 am

Been sober over 14 years. The only thing that helped was AA. Had 4 kids, husband died from this disease nothing was going well til I went to AA and got the support and understanding i needed
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby marilyn » Fri Nov 05, 2010 5:58 pm

I read all of your posts and do agree to a point with some of them. AA did help me though and the people in the rooms are there to share there struggles with the drink and they let me know that I wasn't alone. For me, I listened and shared and took only what I needed to help me get and stay sober and left all the other crap there. The BIGGEST thing I use everyday is "ONE DAY AT A TIME" know more know less and it gets me through without picking up a drink.
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby Rain » Sun Nov 07, 2010 2:41 pm

"The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way that is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do for ourselves.

If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.

This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort."
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby butterfly01pa » Sat Nov 26, 2011 1:48 am

Hi Tiny Dancer, and Sissi,

AA did not work for me. I followed the steps, and read the Big book; however and also went to church, which was relaxing for me. Too many people using AA as a social network, lying about their sobriety, and trying to find a good lay, so to speak. My sister was going, conducting meetings, and lying about her sobriety. This was too disheartening for me. I went to a shrink, got diagnosed, and took my meds for three years and was sober. I missed two doc appointments because my husband was seriously ill, and almost died. I have been drinking for three months. Went to a meeting, and the person speaking had just been in a local bar! I believe in the steps, but not in the meetings. I am going to see my shrink again, but have to wait for 6 weeks. SO many people who are alcoholics self-medicate. Until they get professional help from a psychiatrist, they will not get sober from meetings alone!
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Re: Almost made it.

Unread postby Sasha13 » Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:56 am

Sorry, I only read a few of the comments made here after reading ibemadshell1's 1st post opening this thread. So, if I repeat anything others have said I apologize for repeating.
No AA doesn't work if you don't want it to. First you have to be honest with yourself and be willing to stop drinking.

You can be an atheist and AA can work for you. God does not have to be your higher power. I, myself, am an non believer of God. And, from going to meeting, have learned that I needed to "reach out" to a higher power to help me because I am no help to/for myself.

I say you try different meetings and hopefully, like with me, something "clicks" and you come to find that we are in at meetings for the same reason. We are alcoholics and want the same thing... A Life of Sobriety.

I am new to meetings. Just did 5 in 6 days. Didn't go on Thanksgivings, but I did know where meetings were if I felt I needed out.
I'm positive what helped me with meetings this that I have become honest with myself and know I can not become sober on my own.

Ugh.. hope all that did not just sound like rambling.
And no, they are not words of others that have "fed" them to me at meetings. They are words I have come away with from attending meeting and again.... For the first time being fully honest with myself.

A Prayer I like...
"O Great Spirit whose voice I hear in the winds,
I come to you as one of your many children.
I need your strength and your wisdom.
Make me strong not to be superior to my brother,
but to be able to fight my greatest enemy:
"Myself"
- Chief Dan George
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