So True Prayer

[Rain]

Dear God,

I like so very much the thing that is so very bad for me.

I am not even sure I want to pray about it, because I suspect, in my secret heart,I really don't want You to take it away from me, or to stop me.

What I really want, God,is to be able to keep doing the thing I like so much, but just not have it be so bad for me.

It feels like all the things I like (a lot), the best, most fun things,are all the things I'm not supposed to like or want to do, (or like to do as much as I want to do them) or are damaging to my brain or killing my body or in general diminish and harm me.

So, God, I need a lot of help with this because:

I do not want any help with this.

So help me, God.

[safiya1234]

wow do i identify with what you said. i know that what im doing is going to hurt me again eventually. even if i get away with it for a few weeks, at some point there will be trouble. ive been in rehabs, even jail, so the next stop is really death. ive asked god to remove this obsession and that works for the one day, then i dont ask again the next day and the hell starts all over again. if its a disease why is god so involved? its an emotional illness to me, mental illness and as dangerous as any other serious illness. i dont like meetings because i dont like sharing my personal life with strangers. there has to be a better way, not softer or easier, but better for me. i am a Muslim and in my faith sharing your private life with people isnt correct, but neither is drinking or the the behavior that comes with it. maybe today is the day, inshallah (god willing) that i can get better from this terible curse.

[Rain]

If you find a better way let us know.

[napalmsticks2kids]

I completely identify with you and the love of the effect.I hate this addiction,it talks to me ,it tells me its ok,but they are lies.noone ever succeeds in life as an addict. your post tells me your addiction is coming through loud and clear. Get to a meeting even though you have heard it all before ,even if you are under the influence . Bring the body and the mind will follow .Not right away but it will.Instead of using again try punching yourself in the face ,it makes the same amount of sense , but alot cheaper