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my son is using drugs

Unread postPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:27 am
by distressed mom
My 25 yr old son lives with me and he has taken money from me. I suspected drugs and searched his room and found eviedence that he is using cocaine. Im really upset and distraught. My first reaction was to kick him out , but since he has no money and no transportation....I felt this would only make a bad situation worse. I had confronted him on the money and of course he said hed give it back, He doesnt know i found eveidence of him using. I wil be seeing hi tonight when he gets home. Can anyone help me on how to handle this ? I really dont kow what direction to go. TY :cry:

Unread postPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:54 am
by Guest
That's a tough one... I would talk to him but I would not yell (easy to say, huh?). He needs you as a support. I think he needs to feel safe around you (safe enough to talk). Try to have him see a doctor right away. Try to have him go to a NA meeting.

The problem is: if he's not ready to quit, you can do whatever you want (even throw him out), nothing will change. You may want to go to Nar-Anon meetings to find support for yourself.

Unread postPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 1:06 am
by Guest
kick his ass...

make hin wake up!

Unread postPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 6:18 am
by Guest
Oh yeah like it's gonna help to kick his ass! that's the lamest answer i've even read on this board.

Guess what, genius, if it's was that easy i'm sure all of us would start kicking major asses.

Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 6:28 am
by Admin
Please keep the responses civil. Thanks!

Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:05 pm
by Guest
I asked my mother what she did when she found out that I was an addict. And she told me that she felt helpless. She thought about "kicking my ass" or kicking me out. But she realized that there was nothing that she could do until I was ready to get clean. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but unfortunately he will not get clean unless he is ready. But do not pretend that the problem is not there. Talk to him about it. Whether or not he wants to hear it. Because honestly that did help me. When she yelled at me for being doped up all the time it started to sink in.

I hope that helps.

Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:57 pm
by Rebecca
The best thing in my experience that you can do is to give him an option. Either get help, or get out. The reality is that like everyone has said, there is nothing you can do for him, he has to do it for himself. But allowing him to stay in your home is enabling him and will ultimately end up hurting you as much as your son.

So...give him the option to get help (rehab, NA meetings on a DAILY basis) or ask him to leave.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Hope this helps

son and drugs

Unread postPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:02 pm
by Guest
Thank you all>>>>i did have a talk with him. I told him more or less my jail and terms or the county jail. Also, got him to make appoint with doctor and therapist. I take his money each week and put it away in the bank so he doesn spend it all on dope. Thats just the beginning right now. And I managed not to yel but was serious and stern.

Unread postPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 3:55 am
by Guest
sounds good! come back if you can to let us know how things are going.

helping kids

Unread postPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 12:35 am
by i was there before
Looking back, 12 years ago, I remember the day my mom forced me into rehab, the worst day of my life turnied out to be the BEST day of my life ( I still thank her and apologize to her). Was I ready, no, but I was to young to think for my self and I WAS USING DRUGS!! I am sorry, but kids, are never ready to come clean!
What helped me, was the support my family and friends gave me. If he does not feel the love and support from the people around him- what is the point of coming clean??? Show him that there are better things to do- sports, hobbies, have him get a job, or help other kids. Have him volunteer at a homeless shelter, so he can see what drugs will do to some people! Be strong and never give up! Anger will only push him away!! LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!!

For every month he is clean, reward him, takehim to concerts, sport events, celebrate with him!!!