by DJphilly » Thu May 12, 2011 3:38 pm
I completely agree with the last poster, but I'm not an addict. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and I have felt the same way. When my husband and I first realized he was an alcoholic I was very caring and supportive. I knew this was a disease and that it was not his fault. Over time and after many relapses I became resentful and angry. I am not saying this is true for you and I am only speaking for myself, but I learned that my "caring" was actually enabling him to continue using. The first time it was suggested I had a part in his relapse I was even angrier! I was the one doing everything I could to hold our lives together and to help him get better. What I finally realized was that "help" was not help at all. He had to experience the consequences of his choices directly and my help robbed him of feeling those consequences, which may ultimately aid in his sobriety. So, your feelings of anger are completely normal. Healthy even, depending on how you act on those feelings. You are not uncaring and I too do not believe you've stopped loving your sister. Perhaps you just are not loving her behavior. So please don't feel guilty or bad about your feelings. I like the idea of "loving from a far". It is important for you and your sister that you detach from her to focus on yourself and your own health/well being. And when she is ready you can be there to support her and her recovery. Its very difficult, I know and I wish you the best! Stay strong!!