I am tired!!

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I am tired!!

Unread postby witzend » Sun Aug 06, 2006 2:47 am

I am so tired of my husband lying to me whether or not he has been drinking. Everytime I am out without him and he is alone, he seems to have had a few, yet he will tell me that he did not have any. tonight I went to church to return to him being "buzzed" and yet he told me he had nothing, well I looked in the cabinent and there is obviously rum missing out of one of the bottles. I am going out of my mind here. I am totally obssesed checking bottles, smelling glasses and his breath. He has made a tremendous improvement from what he used to be. What is my problem? I think I am the one who needs help!
witzend
 

you are no longer alone.

Unread postby Guest » Sun Aug 06, 2006 7:17 am

you need help to understand, the best way to find this is to contact alanon. there you will meet people who have gone through what you are going through just now.
Guest
 

Unread postby Guest » Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:57 pm

i know what you are going through because that was the first step i had taken with my husband. i finally threwout all the alchol in our house and he went for help at our family doc. he has taken the first step now he needs to get counceling but i'm still trying to convince him. he has to do it for himself. he still says it is my fault he stopped drinking. he liked to drink.no problem there. why don't i understand that????? i really do need help to to understand what they are going through but we have to go from here. my husband stopped drinking on june 16. as far as i know he hasn't drank since. it's hard on us all.
Guest
 

New here....

Unread postby Guest » Sun Sep 10, 2006 9:21 pm

Supposedly my husband is AT an AA meeting as I type this, It is 10pm so I was kinda suspicious of the time and why so late??
I asked for brochures.

Its just that I have been lied to so much, I don't know when he is telling the truth anymore, so I think he is up to something all the time. But that is tearing us apart. We have 4 children, and its sad that our oldest can determine if daddy has been drinkin by the way he walks in the house, (stumbling) she is 9!
He comes home stumbling and slurring words, but tells me he hasn't had a drink. Then crashes on the couch and sleeps from the time he gets in the door at 6-until he has to get up for work the next day.

He has been locked up for 3 days as a result of drinking, probably wouldn't have been had he not fought the officer who tried to get him back to the hospital, where he woke up and walked out.
I have threatened to pack up our 4 kids and move back home with my family. I even opened my own bank account, and told him it was to be used in case I needed to leave him.
with all of that said, I think leads him to lie to me more.
He has had his slips, but I don't know what to do anymore.

I hate being angry with him all the time, grilling him, accusing him, because I am afraid that will push him furthur to the drink...*nagging wife* but I don't want to just give up.......

I don't know what to do anymore!
:(
Guest
 

Unread postby November_rain » Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:39 pm

Hi Guest.

I feel for you. You say that you are afraid you'll push him further to drink if you're the "nagging wife". You know what? Don't think for a minute that he's drinking because of you. Alcoholics drink because they're addicted. You can be nice, you can be bad, you can go, you can stay, it won't change a damn thing. That's the power of that disease (if it is one).

Have you tried to go to alanon? It's a safe place where you can vent. Keep in touch.
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Unread postby Guest » Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:50 pm

I also know what you are going through.
My AH husband lies all the time about his drinking. He even hides it and when he passes out I try to find it and when I do I pour every bit of what I can find out. My husband even leaves for 2 weeks at a time{sometimes} with out even so much as a phone call.I just dont know what to do.I feel like I'm going crazy. I also suffer from anxiety and depression and I had the problems before I even met my husband.It is making things so much worse. Not to mention when hes drunk he is emotionally abusive to me calling me names like whore and all kinds of names.He has even stoled a couple of christmas presents I had bought my children for Christmas last year. Just know that your not alone in this.{HUG'S}} go out to all of you.
Guest
 

Unread postby Guest » Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:04 am

We are all different, but our stories are the same... I think that going to Alanon is one of our best bets to keep our sanity.

You are right Guest, it always helps to know that we are not alone, that tons of other men and women go through the same stuff, that we have a place where we can talk openly, knowing that the listeners understand perfectly what we go through.
Guest
 

Unread postby Guest » Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:36 pm

November_rain wrote:Hi Guest.

I feel for you. You say that you are afraid you'll push him further to drink if you're the "nagging wife". You know what? Don't think for a minute that he's drinking because of you. Alcoholics drink because they're addicted. You can be nice, you can be bad, you can go, you can stay, it won't change a damn thing. That's the power of that disease (if it is one).

Have you tried to go to alanon? It's a safe place where you can vent. Keep in touch.



Hi, This is my first time chatting, but my husband admits he has a problem, he doesn't hide it, he doesn't care who he is drunk around. He is a great person, but I only have a relationship with him from Mon-Thursday. He is a weekend alcoholic. I have been living with this for 18 years, it has hurt my children as well as many other people.
Guest
 

Unread postby Guest » Wed Nov 22, 2006 7:56 am

My husband is exactly like yours and I hate weekends. What do you do to cope with him? Please share if you feel like it.
Guest
 

Unread postby Guest » Mon Nov 27, 2006 2:26 pm

Nothing really besides cry all the time.
Guest
 

Weekend drunks

Unread postby Kimba » Mon Nov 27, 2006 5:28 pm

Anonymous wrote:
November_rain wrote:Hi Guest.

I feel for you. You say that you are afraid you'll push him further to drink if you're the "nagging wife". You know what? Don't think for a minute that he's drinking because of you. Alcoholics drink because they're addicted. You can be nice, you can be bad, you can go, you can stay, it won't change a damn thing. That's the power of that disease (if it is one).

Have you tried to go to alanon? It's a safe place where you can vent. Keep in touch.



Hi, This is my first time chatting, but my husband admits he has a problem, he doesn't hide it, he doesn't care who he is drunk around. He is a great person, but I only have a relationship with him from Mon-Thursday. He is a weekend alcoholic. I have been living with this for 18 years, it has hurt my children as well as many other people.


Ahhh,the joys of the weekend drunk. My BF makes no bones about his once a week slips. He attends AA meetings regularly but refuses a sponsor. Why? Because he enjoys having that one day slip with no one to answer to. I always know when he does it and it makes me angry that he lies to himself~ that this is unacceptable. When he slips he starts with abusive emails or phone calls to anyone and everyone. They are left baffled as to why he did this while I know exactly why.
*sigh*
Just had to vent. Sometimes the occasional alcoholic is more baffling than the daily abuser.
Kimba
 

Unread postby November_rain » Wed Nov 29, 2006 6:43 am

Hello Guests and Kimba,

I wonder if there are things we could do when our husbands lose it. Al-anon is great, but it's a one or two hour meeting... How about the rest of the time or the weekend?

We're trying to launch a weekly chat room on this site. Would you be interested in participating? To vent, to talk, to share.

Let me know how you all feel about it.

Thanks,

November rain
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Chats

Unread postby Kimba » Sun Dec 03, 2006 8:39 pm

I think chats would be a great stress reliever. I am committed to Alanon but sometimes there is too much going on to cover in the short span of time. Now with the holidays I can't get to meetings because of work. The other thing is I think the anonymity(sp?) of chats lets people really be honest in a fun way that you may hold back in face to face meetings.
Kimba
 

Unread postby Guest » Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:33 pm

I totally agree with you, Kimba. When's the first chat?
Guest
 

Weekly Chat

Unread postby Admin » Sun Dec 03, 2006 11:23 pm

I totally agree with you, Kimba. When's the first chat?


For the weekly chat, we are currently thinking about either Tuesday at 7:00 pm EST or Sunday at 7:00 pm EST. If there is a better time please let us know!

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