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my wife came out of rehab, filed for divorce and abandoned o

Unread postPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2016 5:17 pm
by west5014
my wife went into rehab for 23 days? She was a binge drinker for 30 years. First it was always that our son was the problem (he is bi-polar) then in the middle of her rehab i was the problem. I was not even home when half of the stuff happened. She did physically abuse 2 of our children , had a car accident while drinking, 2 old dui's as well. Everyone gives her the sympathy of someone who had a terrible husband (these people never met me, just on what she says). I have custody, the court dr also said i should have custody. She is a great full functioning alcoholic and everyone falls for her act. What about the children and I?

Re: my wife came out of rehab, filed for divorce and abandon

Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 10:44 am
by DrSheilaHereNow
I am sorry things have turned out this way for you. And, I trust you are in Al-Anon. There is an expression in the rooms, "What people think of me is none of my business." OF course they only know what she says. But, if they are working their Program, they should not be judging you. And, you do not have to care. How do you know they are falling for her act? They may be going along to get along. Eventually, if she goes to AA meetings and stays sober someone will call her on her stuff.

Regardless, what about you and the kids? Well, first of all, you and the kids may have a wife/mother who will remain sober, in which case dealing with her should get better (in or out of the marriage). Secondly, she is less likely to abuse them sober. Thirdly, there isn't much hope if she is drinking, so the hope lies in the relief you all have so you can get yourselves healthy without the hysteria in the house.

It is time you put yourself and your kids first. Everyone needs support!!! you all have been affected by her drinking. Seek treatment in any way you can find it. Read the book, "Co-Dependent No More." and start to rebuild your lives without an alcoholic in the center of your daily living. Incidentally, how did you handle her abuse of the kids, and DUI"s?

Re: my wife came out of rehab, filed fo abandoned o

Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2016 9:58 pm
by Pilotswife
Hi, I'm new here and married to a husband who does not think he has a drinking problem. It sounds like you and your kids r in a tough place. It's a good thing your wife went into a rehab, so she acknowledges her issue. I think that's half the battle.
Things can change for you, don't give up!