Sobriety Online

To the al-anon members out there:

My live-in boyfriend knows he has a problem and is seeing a therapist. He drinks with his friends 2-3 times a week, but we decided no alcohol in the house and I don't want him to get drunk with me, but I don't get upset if he has 2-3 drinks. How do you react when your SO drinks?

Sundays are bad for him and I suggested we go out to eat so he can have a few drinks but not binge (which is what he used to do) - is that bad/enabling?

gns,

if your boyfriend can limit his alcohol consumption to 2-3 drinks and respect the "no alcohol in the house"rule, then he's not really an alcoholic. Alcoholics have to consume alcohol. Large amount of alcohol. Alcoholics do not follow any rules when it comes to alcohol, except the "more and more" rule.

as far as enabling is concerned, I'm still not sure what that means. if anybody can help, please do so.

I disagree with the previous definition of "alcoholic".

My boyfriend used to drink every day and still has very strong urges to drink every day. He is more "recovered" /moderate(?) drinker now, but still struggles.

This brings up another issue, though - are there degrees of dependency/out-of-controlness? My read of the AA literatures says no, but there are clearly a lot of people that have problems controlling their drinking to various degrees

I'm not sure it's possible to control your alcohol intake when you are an alcoholic. I think that if you can control it, you're not really addicted. And this is valid for any kind of substance. In my case, I quit smoking 5 years ago. However I know that if I smoke only 1 cigarette, I'll go back to my pack and a half a day in no time.

I wish other people would give us their opinion on this matter. Addiction is a fascinating (and painful) subject.

alcoholics dont need to get bombed every day to be catagorized as an alcoholic. my cousin has a few every night when he gets home from work. its his way of un-winding, coping. he doesnt get drunk every night, but seems to "need" those few to help him relax. i suppose he could be described as a functional alcoholic. his hobbies revolve around brewing beer and family functions always involve alcohol. im no expert but it seems to me that you dont need to conume massive amounts of alcohol to be considered an alcoholic. just my opinion.

Is there a right or a wrong definition of alcoholism???