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Am I an enabler?

Unread postPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 10:21 am
by Boomer
I am brand new here and brand new at accepting my boyfriends addiction. I love him more than anything on this planet and I refuse to give up on him. He knows he has an addiction. At first I was nagging, asking everyday if he was ok, is he going to make it through the day. I have stopped doing that because 1. I am nagging, and 2. he is going to lie to me anyway most likely. He doesn't want to "talk about it", he is "dealing with it". What do I do? Do I just sit back and wait till he is ready? Will he be ready? I know only he can decide when he is ready but what do I do in the meantime? By not saying anything am I enabling? Am I ignoring the problem? Does it look like I don't care? I just want to do the right thing. I want to be there for him, support him, and love him.

Re: Am I an enabler?

Unread postPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 6:18 pm
by jr26076
I am dealing with many of the same issues with my fiance. I'm interested in hearing people's thoughts as well as attending an alanon meeting in my area.

Re: Am I an enabler?

Unread postPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:08 am
by Eviljack13
Stand with him, dont push him, just stand with him. He knows.
He sees your aggression. Believe it or not; he is hurting as much as you.
Show him some trust. Believe it or not, it goes a long way.