Husband/Father of alcoholic Wife

[AHumm82]

I was told to seek Al-Anon as a form to help me understand my wife and her addiction more. Heres a quick version of my story....
My wife began drinking heavily middle to end of 2016 roughly. I have no personal first hand experience with addiction in my family. This continued until i asked for divorce in February 2019. Thru that time she verbally/emotionally abused extremely harshly both me and the kids (4 of blended family, now ages 19, 15, 14 and 6). Oldest is hers, middle two or mine from previous and youngest is ours. Together 12 years this February married 9 1/2. She hit me 3 times on separate occasions but i stood by her until i was dead inside and had nothing left. Became a robot and emotionless. When i asked for divorce she instantly the next day stop drinking. Got into programs, slipped in and out of depression, became non existent in the home besides taking up space and everything got put on me (i.e. dinners, laundry, kids activities...basically everything) which made me even more angry and unsupportive. I turned my back on her and let her get sober alone and get herself together, but still claimed the same desire for divorce but never taking any steps to it whatsoever. She forced marriage counseling on me after 4 months of sobriety which i didn't participate due to the time frame but never conveyed my feelings. I harbored everything. She moved out January 3rd this year. Her absence started to change me, i started to accept and own my behavior and have a deeper appreciation for her and the road she was on still being sober at that time. A week after her 1 year anniversary i apologized for my behaviors for making her feel unloved, unwanted and unsupported. She was angry, and accepted my apology but didnt forgive me and said i was too late. We are still in the same place but i have changed GREATLY getting back with the lord, changing my behaviors, accepting my wrong parts throughout our entire marriage but i found out she started dating a guy fro AA shortly after she moved out and has been doing so secretly (literally like an affair sneaking around) and still claims to not be interested in me but her actions occasionally speak a different language. There is a lot more to it but that's the snapshot of it. I have absolutely conveyed i am not giving up on saving our marriage, but i feel her “fling” is greatly affecting my chances to regain her attention. She HAS claimed to others we know mutually that she has noticed me changing big time and wishes i did it months ago even as recent as last week so i know shes paying attention. I am depressed all the time knowing she is involved with someone else and find it hard to even get up some days. Someone suggested Al-Anon for me for my situation to help me get a deeper grasp on HER and her mind now. I hope this is the right place......