My boyfriend needs help

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My boyfriend needs help

Unread postby Karen » Mon Sep 19, 2005 6:45 pm

Hi, I am hoping someone can give me some advice. My boyfriend seems to be drinking a lot more lately and he insists he does not have a problem. Everynight he goes out with his friends after work and he doesn't come home until late at night. When he does come home he just passes out. I told him that I would go to meetings with him but he does not want to go. He says he does not have a problem.

What should I do?
Karen
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Unread postby Recovering » Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:23 pm

Hey Karen, a couple of ideas:

Don't do anything. Let him "bottom out". You'll hear that alot. Where they say a person won't quit until they had enough.

If it's really bad have an intervention, where family and friends confront the alcoholic and tell him how they are hurt/embarrassed/disappointed/frustrated etc. by the alcoholic.

Maybe videotape him one night when he's really messed up and show him the next day.

Leave him for a little while to show him you had enough. Maybe he'll get the message.

Leave him now for good... Unless you want to put up with his nonsense for the rest of your life.

Hope this helps.. Stay in touch.
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Unread postby Karen » Mon Sep 19, 2005 9:11 pm

Thanks Recovering,

I guess there are things I can do. But, I don't want to leave hime because most of the time he is very loving and attentive. It's just when he goes out with his friends, he is totally different. Most of his friends are his drinking buddies so the intervention won't work. [:(]
Karen
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Unread postby Serenity » Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:49 pm

Karen, if you are still around let us know how things are going. I know it can be difficult when you are in a relationship and most of the time it is going good. But you do have to wonder if it is as good as it's going to get and if it will just go downhill from there. If he doesn't want to change... well there's not alot of options.

Take care and keep in touch
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Unread postby Karen » Wed Sep 28, 2005 6:36 pm

Well we had a long talk about it this past weekend and although he still won't admit he has a drinking problem he said he will cut down on the number of nights he goes out with his friends. [:)] I do believe him, or that at least that he will try. One step at a time.
Karen
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I,m scared

Unread postby Guest » Tue Jul 11, 2006 6:29 pm

My boyfriend just got out of a facililty that he was in for a week. I thought things were going pretty good when I smelled it onhis breath again. I couldn't believe it. He was only out maybe 3 or 4 days. God....I got so angry. He was also talking of suicide this time. He thinks if he leaves I will be better off and I can have the things that I have always wanted becuase, he can't give them to me. His thoughts are so warped. I took him to a crisis center. I just got off of the phone and he is coming home on Thursday. I'm very scared and confused about waht to do next.
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