by GrooveConnection » Sat Dec 08, 2007 4:30 pm
I read your post and feel for you, since just about 3 weeks ago my best friend from overseas came to visit and shared with me a very similar situation, the son (19) has hundreds of bottles of booze lined up on the bookshelf, drawn to the violent right wing scene, extremely verbally (and physically) abusive towards the father, etc.
Since I know my friend as being very smart and very much in control I said to him what I would also write here:
"I pray for you that you find the strength to really search for outside help!"
Since you are already reaching out, I would encourage you to go to Al-Anon to find community, strengthening, staying in touch with all the painful stuff that causes all this, learn to deal with all sorts of thoughts and emotion that come up, in short, you build your new wisdom AROUND the new and challenging situation.
Your child will very very likely walk his own way and vehemently refuse help or any kind of suggestion, so the only thing you have control over and can active about is your life. And your life only.
One of the key senctences in Al Anon is that "we may think that we come to Al Anon FOR the alcoholic.Over time we learned that we came BECAUSE of the alcolohic. That is a very important difference and time will tell you what it means.
I wish you strength and courage to look at what is so hard to look at, but you will very likely find that is gets a whole lot easier to do so in company of fellow travelers who are sharing the same (or similar) experiences.