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Unread postby MOMWORRYS17 » Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:09 pm

Today I believe I begin the 1st of many posts....pray 4 my DD,SHE is lost in so many compulsions..addictions..each year it gets worse....ED...ALCOHOL.....NOW DRUGS......My heart hurts to its core.


Unread postby hello, its me again » Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:09 am


I'm so very sorry that your heart is hurting so. I just wanted to let you know that I hear you, and I too, understand that kind of pain. My daughter was also very troubled, addicted and living in indescribable pain. She was in her late 20s, lost her husband and three children, her job and her friends. Three years ago, our family did an intervention with her, which was in itself a miracle. I didn't even know where she lived, though I found out what city she was living in from one of her addicted friends; she was homeless, too, and living with a man with HIV.

To make a long story short, she has made positive changes in her life since then, although the intervention didn't seem like it went very well at the time. I believe that the most important thing that came out of the intervention was this. She learned that she was loved, truly missed and that she had support if she wanted to change her life. She also learned that despite her choices, she was lovable, was worthy of grace and the opportunity to re-make her life. She learned that she had to take responsibility and that she would have to face her life head-on. Her family and friends were not going to be in her life if she didn't shift the direction of her life. It was all on her.

I truly did not think that she would change, and I had been preparing myself for her funeral. Through tears and hope and keeping strict boundaries I have been able to help myself face the full potential of what was at stake. Her life hung in the balance. My life hung in the balance as my heart was so wrapped around hers. I learned that I could not change anything in her life; she had to do her own work. I could not protect her from herself, or the consequences to her choices. I learned that I can only manage my own life, and that I need support. My life is my responsibility and no matter what, I have to take care of myself. I am ultimately only responsible for myself. That's it.

I can encourage and help, but only by my example. I cannot ask her to do what I have not done. . .I cannot love her and judge her at the same time. I can only love her and let her be who she is. I cannot save her. I can only love her. That's it.

But, sometimes, just sometimes, love is enough. Trust that. Let go. And take care of you.

Hugs from a friend you don't know,

hello, its me again

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