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Unread postby KKATE58 » Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:30 pm

hi am a recovering addict from a long line my husband and myself were blessed with a beautiful son 19 years ago he became our world sometimes our love is shown thw wrong way which i have learned in the past 5 months of his incarceration and lots of tears and letdowns he comes home soon but how will i handle this, i need support and help to make this the best siyuation for all of us i hope someone can helpus, we want nothing but a happy healthy family. any support will be welcome


Unread postby milkpaint » Tue Mar 17, 2009 4:52 pm

I would suggest telling him how much his being home means to you. Tell him specifically why - so HE knows.

You might just be honest about your feelings and say that you know there is no handbook on how to handle things right, but that you wonder if he would share his feelings on the subject.

What does he hope things will be like? What do you hope for, and your husband. Maybe after talking about that the first night he is home, you can then talk about ways to achieve that together.

I think it is also crucial to show him you care by setting up clear expectations and boundaries. He might not act like he likes it, but knowing he is accountable for himself, and that he must help out (with house work, chores, etc) will show him that you have things under control. Growing up with an alcoholic parent (as I did), he probably experienced a lot of chaos and turmoil. Show him that you are better too, and not going to let things fall apart. You have to follow through!

Finally, maybe just a handful of sessions with a family counselor would help (before and/or after he returns) so you have a plan make you feel reassured.

Good luck!
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