When someone becomes sober and now has 'all the answers..."

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When someone becomes sober and now has 'all the answers..."

Unread postby present » Tue Mar 03, 2009 3:19 pm

First, I should say that I started going to meetings (AA) a week ago. I need to be there, no doubt.

I have a couple of friends already in AA, and have spoken to them for support. I have a question about the process though... One of my friends has been sober for about 6 months. He/she acts like drinking was the only problem and will not acknowledge that there are many personal issues that lead to their problem. It's as though everyone else has the problem now (anyone who is newer to the program than he/she is) or anyone who is drinking in general. It seems like a holier-than-thou position, and it undermines the process as far as I can see.

I am wondering if anyone has experienced this kind of frustration and has any insight. Personally, I feel better with those who are humble about their progress, and don't act like they have it all together. Is that manner just common to people like my friend who is walking-tall over his/her accomplishment? It makes it hard to talk to my friend when ego plays a part in his/her recovery and I find I am avoiding listening to him/her acting as the "expert!"

Thanks for any insight you have on this.
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Re: When someone becomes sober and now has 'all the answers..."

Unread postby joeliejoel » Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:05 pm

An interesting position. Chances are this person is walking the egg-shell existence of new sobriety. If one dug a bit deeper, we may find that they haven't had a complete surrender or are stuck on a step or have not truly completed a thorough house cleaning. As one progresses through the program and gains insight, humility is the only possible outcome. Feel compassion for this person, walk your walk, and surrender to the ever-unfolding now. By the way- congratulations on taking the first few steps- everything you need to know is in the Big Book. "Having had a spiritual experience...."
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Re: When someone becomes sober and now has 'all the answers..."

Unread postby present » Wed Mar 04, 2009 12:56 am

Thank you for your reply; your insight was really helpful. Thanks, also for the encouragement!
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