by Sibling » Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:06 am
Marymo,
I understand the need to get away for a period to think. I used to need that when my kids were little and life became overwhelming. We didn't have money for vacations then, and I'm an unhappy camper (seriously!) because I don't find any pleasure in playing house outside when I can barely get it right inside. I used to hop on the casino bus for AC with a $6.99 Romance Novel. I read all the way to the casino, got my roll of quarters, changed into a swimsuit and walked out to the beach and boardwalk for the day. I sometimes didn't say a word all day, just smiled if someone spoke to me. I needed those few hours to collect myself, get some sun, fresh air, walk the boards and DEFINITELY see people that had way more problems then I could ever imagine. I usually brought the quarters back because I'm not much of a gambler. With lunch and a couple of soda's I think the day cost around $15.
I am alone a lot, but never lonely. I am really ANGRY with my sister, however it doesn't really manifest itself unless I'm face-to-face, on the phone, or IMing her on the computer. She can slur on the computer! Probably not true, but my imagination (combined with the anger) is making up all kinds of scenario's. I like, as well as love, my sister. She's a pretty smart woman and is generous with her time and resources. I am noticing a mean streak in her that she didn't have before and it's always fueled by several big drinks.
My anger is what I'm trying to get a grip on. I believe that I'll just let it out, hopefully in private, So what it she doesn't remember it the next day? I've always assumed that it was useless to discuss ANYTHING with someone who's drunk. Is that wrong?