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The wolf of Despair

Unread postPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:53 am
by November_rain
An Indian guru was telling his students about the two wolves that inhabit each and everyone of us. "Inside you and inside me, there is a permanent fight between the wolf of Hope and the wolf of Despair", he said.
One student asked: "Which one will win, Master?".
"The one you feed" was his answer.

While living with an alcoholic, I fed the wolf of Despair. And now, even though my husband quit drinking, it's not easier to feed the wolf of Hope. Trusting him is one of my biggest issues.

Unread postPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 11:07 pm
by Serenity
November-rain, That is a nice parable. It's true that life is all about how you perceive it.

Have you tried going to al-anon? There are many people there that have been where you are now.

Good Luck!

Unread postPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 9:32 am
by November_rain
Hi Serenity,
Yes, I have tried Al-Anon (different locations), and even though it is a great place to start the healing process, I didn't find what I was looking for. I now see a therapist, and I'm working on my issues. This whole experience (painful as it is) is a great way of growing and learning.

Unread postPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 7:59 pm
by mimi
November_rain. I have a question-when does it get easier? It sounds as though your husband has found sobriety. Mine has'nt, and I dont know that he ever will. When does it stop hurting, when will I finally let go. Mimi

Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 12:27 pm
by November_rain
I'm not sure, Mimi, when it gets easier. Maybe things changed for the better when I realized I couldn't do anything for my husband and that I could only work on myself. I also had to decide whether I wanted to stay or leave. Things got easier when I made up my mind. I decided to stay and work with what I had (my emotions, my feelings, my anger, my life).

Please keep in touch if you can.