by recoveryingjd » Sun Aug 11, 2013 12:31 pm
I am new to this site. I am going on 5 years clean; I have a sponsor and 2 sponsees. I work and live to the best of my ability the 12 steps. I have changed a lot over the years of being clean and one of the main things I have changed is having to have a man to define me. My sponsor suggested my first year to not get into a relationship of any kind and I followed her suggestion. I have not been in a relationship since I have been clean. These past few months it has effected me more than I like so I joined a dating site on line and I have experienced different feelings and emotions of all the intention. I have actually met 2 men off the site and took further than I wish I had. I have realized that the excitement I feel of my heart racing and the feeling of being wanted has overwhelmed me. I am having flashbacks of old behaviors and I believe that I am living in fantasy rather than reality. I want to be wanted but not just sexually. I have gained a lot being single and nonsexual over the years and I don't know if it's because I am not ready or don't know how to handle it. Any suggestions would be appreciative in this matter. I am open to suggestions and change.