Sobriety Online

Hi.. i dont know what to do.. i have been with my bf for almost 2 years.. i was clean almost a year when i met him then relapsed when he cheated. Then when he saw how bad i got because of this he stopeed cheating and lieing and became the perfect bf. This happened in november that he is being good. since then i have been on and off drugs behind his back but for the past month i have been on and he was caugh me LITERALLY 5 TIMES A WEEK lieing and getting high and now i ruined it. why couldnt i be good when i got him where i wanted him? now he kinda starting old habits.. but its my fault but now i realizede i messed up and wanna stop but i think its too late.. im so dependant on him even down to my cigs everyday. i should just go and get cleAN and proove it to him but he goes out and it makes me wanna get high.. what do i do? i have no money no confidence, no nothing... i just want to be the old me. im having a hard time accepting what i turned into i was never a lier or anything like this.. ugh i could go on all day.. any advice?

I think you have to want to get clean for yourself, not for your bf. But if wanted to get clean for him works, then it's all good. go to meetings, get a sponsor, don't give up if you relapse. try to get your life on the right track if it's really what you want. But if he's a cheater, whether you're clean or not doesn't make any difference. he'll cheat on you, he'll cheat on any of girlfriends. Dump him and look somewhere else. he's not worth your energy.

i obsess about girls n uzn but 4 today and only 4 today i dont thank god!