1 year clean & borderline hopeless
Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 12:45 pm
Hello,
I just moved back from Southern California to PA after moving in with my boyfriend after he completed a 6 month treament program out there. I am in the program and will have a year clean September 4th (!!!!) - but this has been one of the hardest years I've ever had to face in my life (how ironic). I feel as if life is throwing one thing after another at me, and each day is a struggle. 2 months ago my boyfriend started using again and tried to hide it from me, but it was pertty obvious. I thought I could help him and get him on the right track but it just got so bad I couldn't physically be around him or stay in CA; it got to the point where I would either start using or leave and it was bringing me down every day, so I left and moved 3,000 back home with my parents. I, of course, still love him very much but he's working on himself right now as I'm focusing on my recovery. It's hard to see this all happen, and it breaks my heart because I know the pain he's going through. His mother realized he was lying about working, being clean, going to meetings, etc. and she said that he is a "worthless drug addict and it's all he'll ever be, so he is cut off from the family." She's a very selfish (I could use a few other choice words right now to describe her but I'm trying to be positive) person and it's hard to reason with her because she doesn't understand; she wants him to go back to the rehab where he finished his 6 month program or never talk to him again - he's willing to get help but just not on her terms. I don't know, I guess I'm just so worried and I don't know exactly what my point is, I'm just reaching out for any help/suggestions. He's selling all of our furniture and his car to make rent for the sober house he was in, and he has 6 days clean thankfully. I know we rushed into things by living together after we had finished rehab, but I thought since we were both clean and in the program we could make it work. My family and few, dear friends are very supportive (my family has a history with NA, so it's great that they understand) and I am very thankful for them - something that took me 9 years to realize. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and feel free to respond.
Love & Respect,
Olivia
I just moved back from Southern California to PA after moving in with my boyfriend after he completed a 6 month treament program out there. I am in the program and will have a year clean September 4th (!!!!) - but this has been one of the hardest years I've ever had to face in my life (how ironic). I feel as if life is throwing one thing after another at me, and each day is a struggle. 2 months ago my boyfriend started using again and tried to hide it from me, but it was pertty obvious. I thought I could help him and get him on the right track but it just got so bad I couldn't physically be around him or stay in CA; it got to the point where I would either start using or leave and it was bringing me down every day, so I left and moved 3,000 back home with my parents. I, of course, still love him very much but he's working on himself right now as I'm focusing on my recovery. It's hard to see this all happen, and it breaks my heart because I know the pain he's going through. His mother realized he was lying about working, being clean, going to meetings, etc. and she said that he is a "worthless drug addict and it's all he'll ever be, so he is cut off from the family." She's a very selfish (I could use a few other choice words right now to describe her but I'm trying to be positive) person and it's hard to reason with her because she doesn't understand; she wants him to go back to the rehab where he finished his 6 month program or never talk to him again - he's willing to get help but just not on her terms. I don't know, I guess I'm just so worried and I don't know exactly what my point is, I'm just reaching out for any help/suggestions. He's selling all of our furniture and his car to make rent for the sober house he was in, and he has 6 days clean thankfully. I know we rushed into things by living together after we had finished rehab, but I thought since we were both clean and in the program we could make it work. My family and few, dear friends are very supportive (my family has a history with NA, so it's great that they understand) and I am very thankful for them - something that took me 9 years to realize. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and feel free to respond.
Love & Respect,
Olivia