Falling...
Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 9:20 am
I'm new to NA and have been sober 21 days now from Pot and Alcohol.
I have been seeing some transformation during the past few weeks, but also have awakened to some serious anger I have built up inside and pain which I have been numbing on and off for several years now.
My wife of 3 years doesn't seem to understand even though she tries and its hard communicating anymore. I try and share with her and sometimes after I do I feel as though she isn't even listening. I've actually found on a few occasions that she wasn't and new nothing of what I said to her.
I am fighting relapse right now and am hurting really bad. I feel broken, lost and alone.
Tired of fighting and sometimes contemplate being wild like Jim Morrison and just leting go until it all ends.
I'm not trying to kill myself, but I know what I have done will if I continue to use.
Thanks for listening and letting me vent.
I have been seeing some transformation during the past few weeks, but also have awakened to some serious anger I have built up inside and pain which I have been numbing on and off for several years now.
My wife of 3 years doesn't seem to understand even though she tries and its hard communicating anymore. I try and share with her and sometimes after I do I feel as though she isn't even listening. I've actually found on a few occasions that she wasn't and new nothing of what I said to her.
I am fighting relapse right now and am hurting really bad. I feel broken, lost and alone.
Tired of fighting and sometimes contemplate being wild like Jim Morrison and just leting go until it all ends.
I'm not trying to kill myself, but I know what I have done will if I continue to use.
Thanks for listening and letting me vent.